Archive for the ‘Italy’ Tag

It seems they started early!   Leave a comment

There must be a rule when writing recipes, especially ones that involve booze and that rule surely is, ‘don’t drink the booze until you have finished translating the recipe.’ And in the case of this tea towel that simple rule should include, don’t share a tipple or ten with the proofreader and the tea towel printer.

If you don’t follow those simple instructions you get a tea towel like this one, actually no you don’t do you, you get 20,000 of the buggers, which is ok if you speak only Italian or any language other than English!

Clear instructions Italy

Don’t you just love Italy?


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

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No wonder Italy is going bust!   14 comments

I think I have found the reason why Italy is going bust, they have spent too much of their folding stuff on road signs that all say the same thing, haven’t they?

A delightful selection of Italian signs all say the same thing

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store at last, yes it’s my wonderful first book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ so what are you waiting for you lovely Apple users?

It’s Time To Go Up To The Mountains Again   2 comments

As the title correctly says for a lot of us it is time nearly to slide into some shiny Gore-Tex, sharpen our elbows and practice being rude to anyone who gets in our way as preparation for attacking the nearest ski slope! Or it would be if you are going skiing anywhere that caters for the British and German riff raft tourist.

The areas blighted by these ignorant ski slope bullies include most of France, Austria and Italy and unfortunately a lot of the slopes on the west coast of the US.

If you want a nice quiet ski without being knocked over by some idiot who believes that they can ski in-between breaking a leg then the best place to go is, in my case, ‘local.’

There is of course is yet another reason to go ‘local’ this year and that reason is that a lot of the ‘popular’ (and for ‘popular’ just substitute ‘cheap’ ski resorts where the skiing riff raff assemble to knock each other over on the slopes by day and drink each other under the table by night) don’t actually have any snow – something to do apparently with global warming.

Still never mind about the riff raff happily they won’t be skiing where I am going skiing this year or indeed where we took a little Winter hol at the begging of this year, as you can see from the picture below we went to Switzerland at the beginning of the year.

I have to say that Switzerland is a spooky place. While we were up in the Swiss Mountains we decided to take a tour of the many and various Cheese and Watch factories instead of skiing it is amazing what you will do when you get bored isn’t it?

Anyway we hopped on the Snow-Express which is the name for a little coach tour can you imagine our surprise at the name of the tour company? Well happily though of you who are hard of understanding and imagining don’t have to imagine actually or indeed to imagine too hard because it’s on the back of the bright red coach below.

Swiss www

I have to say that after the unusual experience of our little wwwank-tour we felt rather glad to be back on the ski lifts the next day as you can imagine.

I have to say I love ski lifts, probably more than skiing, well you try skiing with four skis strapped to your feet! Skiing is hard enough to do when you just have the two! Although I don’t like the concept of snowboarding I’ve had a go a couple of times now and think that it’s really a way of getting down a snow covered mountain that was probably designed more for Cats to use than for humans. I took to it like a Duck to water.

So this year when I go skiing I won’t be getting someone to lug all of my skis to the slopes I will just get them to carry my snowboard instead.

Skilift

Although nothing to do with any of the above really, I mentioned that I was going off skiing in the New Year to Špindlerův Mlýn in the Krkonoše Mountains which is one of the highest and the most popular mountain ranges in Bohemia and indeed the Czech Republic’s best known ski areas and a nice group of Czech fans of The Cat who writes blogs made some Cat Cup Cakes just for me, aren’t they nice – the cup cakes and the fans!

Cat Cup Cakes


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Tommaso The Italian Black Cat Inherits $13 million   4 comments

Tommaso, a 4 year old black Cat, who until recently, was a stray from the mean streets of Rome, is thought to have become the world’s richest Cat.

Black Cat

Following the sad death of Tommaso’s 94 year old human last month, Tommaso has become a property magnate — or as some would call him a ‘mognate’ — who now owns and manages a handsome property portfolio, and is doing a better job of it than than most bankers, worth an estimated €10m dotted across Italy from Milan in the north to Calabria in the south.

Below is a picture of the view from one of Tommaso’s windows and him looking out over one or two of his properties before lunch.

Cat looking out of window

Unfortunately under Italian law, animals cannot inherit directly which seems rather disgusting for this Cat who writes blogs and who is expecting at least one inheritance any day now if there is anyone out there who isn’t feeling too well and wants to name him, happily this Cat doesn’t live in Italy so do make sure your wills are up to date and that the spelling of the main beneficiary is correct here it’s just for you THE CAT.

Happily there was a little wrinkle in Italian law which has allowed Tommaso to get what was coming to him as long as he had a ‘suitable trustee’ and so Tommaso’s human decided to entrust him and his fortune – to a lady and fellow Cat lover she met in a park and they became firm friends. “Sometimes I’d go to her house so my Cat could play with Tommaso,” Stefania who is now Tommaso’s trustee said.

When Tommaso’s human became too frail to look after herself Stefania, who is a nurse by profession, began to take care of her on a full time basis.

And now Tommaso’s lives with Stefania at an undisclosed address outside Rome, which is well away from the fortune hunters, con-artists and all of the others who think a Cat doesn’t need that sort of sum in a lump?

If you want to make this Cat richer than Tommaso this Christmas and your plans don’t include wills and dying then happily there is a very neat way to do just that and immediately simply click on either or both of the nice Amazonian links below and buy dozens of my books, they make great Christmas present, birthday presents and I have been told even if you don’t like them they make great door stops though you tend to been a pile of at least ten or that is what prince charles said.

http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=thcaswe-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=1441445609&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr

http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=thcaswe-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=1466357223&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr

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Mmh I Think I’ll Have 2 Plates of Big Holes!   Leave a comment

I love travelling, though it has to be said that I didn’t really enjoy the travelling I did while researching my forthcoming blockbusting, unputdownable bestselling book, which if you haven’t heard is a Travelogue, called rather cleverly I thought, ‘The Cat’s Travelogue.’

Not only didn’t I enjoy the travelling I was more or less forced to visit countries that I would never ever think of travelling to, such as oh Bangladesh, Pakistan and two or three African countries, where even the locals don’t want to live in if they can help it and are desperate to immigrate from.

One of the great things about travelling is that you get the opportunity to taste the local cuisine or if you go to France you get to taste recipes stolen from the world’s master cooks the Italians.

Sometimes when you travel to countries where, for reasons best known to themselves, they have yet to learn one’s language their attempts to translate a menu into English has me (and I hope everyone else or I am wasting my time here) rolling in the aisles.

Here is a wonderful menu from a rather quaint restaurant in Madrid, as I said I rather fancy the ‘Fried Big Holes’ mainly because they must be better than the ‘Calluses to the Madrilenian’ surely?

Mmh I Think I ll Have 2 Plates of Big Holes  Madrid

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