Archive for the ‘Apple iBook’ Tag

Not in every guidebook   2 comments

Not in every guidebook

Not to be confused with the Tasmanian village of Lower Crackpot, the village of Crackpot in Swaledale, North Yorkshire, England.

Unlike the Tasmanian village of Lower Crackpot, the village of Crackpot gets its name from joining together two very old words, though why someone would want to do that beats me?

The very old words are; the Old English name for a Crow and the Norse word for a deep hole, usually in a river bed.

The deep hole in question is Crackpot Cave, it’s located south of Crackpot in the elegantly named Scurvey Scar. The cave has a really good example of a column formed by a stalactite joining up with a stalagmite.

But the fun with place names doesn’t end with Scurvey Scar! Oh no! In order to get to see the wonderful stalactite/stalagmite column you have to negotiate the wonderfully named tricky and narrow path called the ‘Knee-wrecker Passage!’


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Have you been killed?   5 comments

Have you been killed

Attorneys don’t like the term “ambulance chasers” because they prefer the seriously injured and dead to walk into their offices.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

No one knows much about the royal involvment at this stage   Leave a comment

Fresh from the UK’s Daily Telegraph, well yesterday’s Daily Telegraph online, comes a shocking story about R Kelly and the younger royals. Well I think that’s what the article is about, I didn’t bother to read it because Im just not at all interested in the royals or R Kelly’s music.

No one knows about the royal involvment at this stage

Shock horror!

Actually the worst thing about this headline apart from the lack of a sub editor who, hopefully, would have picked up what is obviously a mistake is the fact that a once, semi, respectable newspaper is reduced to writing about the royals and other minor celebrities when so much ‘news’ goes unreported.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Parking charges one of the greatest scams of the century   Leave a comment

In the UK the local authorities, both health and civic have discovered a way to make untold riches from motorists. That method is called over paying to park your car.

The cost of parking anywhere in any city, town or village has risen by enormous amounts over the last five or so years as more and more authorities latch on to the incredibly easy way to bilk motorists.

Better still if you forget to pay the inflated cost of parking or your ticket falls off the windscreen, something that happens a lot in hot weather due to the poor quality adhesive used on the reverse of the parking ticket then you will be clobbered with an enormous fine.

So anxious to squeeze every last cent out of motorists authorities don’t even have the time to proofread their signs when they come up with a new way to extort cash from car users.

I don t want to park on my mobile phone

Imagine just how small your car would have to be, to say nothing of have an amazing parking ability to actually “park on your mobile phone.”


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

It’s logic right?   Leave a comment

No Swimming

Well you can argue with that can you?


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

The peaceful English countryside   Leave a comment

Mind your head

I’m sure that this footpath sign celebrates the moment when the city comes to the countryside.

Every so often in the shires of England some myopic fool will cause a panic by spotting a blurry predator (usually black) roaming the fields close to their village, or more likely the one they are driving through to get back to their home in the city.

From that moment on armed with any number of out of focus phone camera shots they will spread alarm as they post them on social media, while the press plaster the “black Panther” (which is what the blurred image has become by now) all over their papers instead of publishing ‘real’ stories.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Common sense vs. The Rules   Leave a comment

On page 17 the building regulations probably say that fire hydrants must be located on every other floor and at a particular height.

On page 328 of the building regulations it probably says that stairs must nave double bannisters what a shame they are at the same height as the fire hydrant.

Unfortunately you have to follow the rules don’t you!

The same people who built this, build Nuclear Power Stations!

<img style="display:block; margin-left:auto; margin-right:auto;" src="http://blog.thecatsdiary.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Hydrant.jpg&quot; alt="Hydrant" title="Hydrant.JPG"


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”