Chemically doped in Turkey   6 comments

Maybe all of the recent problems in Turkey come from the water?

Chemically Doped

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”


6 responses to “Chemically doped in Turkey

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. So is that a swimming pool that’s just to be looked at? How peculiar. A sign like that does make you want to dip your finger in it to see if it fizzes and disappears or something slightly less drastic perhaps.

    • Peculiar indeed! Actually your described the exact reaction my three year old had. She was most put out that she couldn’t dip her hand in the stuff.

      She was bored though, we had just started shopping in the Outlet Mall, apparently the designer clothing shops were offering wonderful bargains, Evie and I weren’t impressed and slopped off for a MacDonalds. Well I had the fish thingy with the odd name and she only likes the cheese and beef in a burger so we are guarranteed to have freshly cooked fast food because they only have burgers full of rubbish getting cold waiting to be served and no one seems to like the fish thingy.

      Thinking about it the reason why no one buys the fish thingy is because people don’t want to use the term fillay of fish, which is what the daft Yanks call it.

      Actually I really loathe fast food these days, but the small things it’s ok and sometimes will actually eat it. Happily she prefers noodles and Korean food from Mum and things like Shepherd’s Pie, Stew and Dumplings and Suet Crust Pastry from her Dad.

      Good to hear from you.


      The Cat

      • So it was in a shopping mall then… how peculiar. I bet lots of people do dip their finger in just because they can. I doubt I’d ever be allowed to eat something from MacDonalds and mum hasn’t been in one for over 25 years but she doesn’t seem concerned that she’s been missing out on anything! She remembers that the ‘milk shakes’ required a great deal of strength to suck them up the straw… and the burgers were very disappointing indeed, not looking anything like as big and tasty as the pictures. She’s now gone all wistful thinking about rare trips to the Wimpey bar when she was very small.

      • Yep a an “Outlet Mall” no less and that word ‘peculiar’ is perfect once again. What was stranger the Outlet Mall was attached to a gloriously empty, glossy, marble floored shopping centre.

        As with all Turkish shopping centres it had the full metal detector, and pat down service which is always er pecu… no bizarre!

        I hate MacDonalds I must admit, but then like my baby I loathe mustard, ketchup, special sauce and dill pickle, always have so I never went in the damn places before they started to have a more flexible approach.

        The best thing about Macdonalds was the Bannana Milkshake… they don’t do that any more har ha. I loved them. Mind you if you want cheek imploding milkshakes then the best place to go was the King’s Road Chelsea when London was swinging.

        Sadly it’s long gone now, but Mr D’s was the place to be. They only served one milkshake, of course. This was swing London after all and if you didn’t like it you could stuff it. But I promise you they were amazing.

        I went there with my first big love. Then to a restaurant in the evening where Adam Faith tried to chat her up. Mind you she was… well she was just… you know.

        She was French a lot older than me at 17 har ha. Sadly she left her husband (and me) and went back to France with her two children and pregnant with ours (something I discovered many years later), and disappeared almost forever.

        Wimpey… now you’re talking. I used to stop in the one in Knightsbridge, my hairdresser Smile was above and a coffee would kill the waiting time. I met my first wife there, not that is a long, painful and expensive story har ha.

        Oh dear trips to Wimpey bars when she was small! She must be a mere strip of a thing. The Wimpey bar experience in Knighsbridge I was writing about happened 44 years ago! Oh goodness I must be old.

        What about Wendy’s? I always had a soft spot for them. First the food was ok and second I never had a romantic encounter, that led to marriage in one :0)

      • Photographs can be deceptive, it does indeed look like a whole shopping centre… it gets stranger and stranger! We’ve not been to a shopping centre for a long time but I don’t think we have pat down services! Talking of which, mum’s friend has just come back from a holiday in Bulgaria and the security ‘pat down’ was a little extreme there, she set the machine off with wire in her bra and they took several goes before they figured out what it was… and then the woman doing the ‘pat down’ had the nerve to pull her skirt out from her waist and peer down… at the front and then at the back. She was mortified. Then the security woman sent her on through.
        BOL I think you have had a more colourful life than my humans… and may just have a few years on mum but she’s over half a century so no spring chicken but doesn’t have her bus pass yet, though a fat lot of good it would do her as there are no buses round here.
        Wendy’s rings no bells… but that’s hardly surprising as she lived in the wilds of Devon & Somerset.
        I’m afraid the cat has done something in the litter tray that requires urgent attention before we all pass out with the fumes… you cats certainly know how to clear a room!

      • Yes in that respect photographs are like signs ;0)

        The shopping centre wasn’t as good as the ones in Istanbul but my wife and her sister didn’t seem that bothered about that. Security guards are a standard feature of shopping malls through-out that region I am aftaid. But then it’s a good idea there are a lot of people with awful beards wanting to do terrible things to them and the shoppers and that just wouldn’t be right outside of Dunk’in Donuts now would it?

        As for my, reasonably long, life. Well in my defence I started early har ha. Though I got married at 17 and that slowed me down. I’ve lived all over the place which helps and my previous career was something of a hoot.

        Your Mum’s friend’s experience sounds a little extreme. Will she be wearing a wired bra next time now she knows the benefits?

        In the old days when they just started to have machines at airports and heavy security it was considered a bit of fun by some. I was leaving LA and can remember laughing and joking with two, now how do you describe them these days? oh yes ladies of colour, and asked them if they would like to come home with me. They were sorely tempted I can say.

        Now you can’t get a laugh, or is that daren’t? I also remember being in Houston in a line to be frisked when some idiot behind me was talking about the advantages of ‘concealed carrying’ guns obviously. I started a conversation with one of my young female directors about the advantages of carrying a loaded carrot, after all “carrots don’t kill people and people can’t kill with a carrot,’ unlike idiots with guns.”

        She moved back down the line as I loudly announced my punchline har ha. The idiot obvioulsy wasn’t carrying anything concealed or not and when I turned round to look him in the eyes he backed away.

        I have no idea if I qualify for a bus pass in the UK? I do qualify for half fare on public transport here at home and in 7 years I think it goes free.

        Here people are sort of 1950’s Uk polite and the stand on public transport for pregnant women, women and the old. Recently I was on a crowded tram and a 30 something woman offered me her seat! I was horrofied which on reflection might have been the wrong reaction.

        I think Wendy’s was only in London sadly. It is nationwide through the US though and the better of the ff jopints to stop at. Though nothing beats a proper roadside diner!

        So you’re Mum is a west country girl through and through. I lived in Charmouth and much later Swanage but that was it and probably only for a total of 3 years at the most. But as that was the longest I lived anywhere when I was a kid I regard Dorset as my home county even though I am from the North East, but as I sound like an imposter there it’s best not to mention that.

        have a great weekend wqith lots of walks, the muddy puddles are coming which I am sure a dog with your hobby can’t wait to enjoy.


        The Cat

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: