What do the royal family and millennials have in common?   5 comments

In a recent study critical of ‘millennials’ researches discovered that among 25 to 34 yr olds up to 77% couldn’t fix a bike puncture and 68 per cent can’t wire a plug.

Apparently a third of young adults can’t change a lightbulb and quarter say they can’t even boil an egg!

All of which leads observers to worry about what the future will be like for these rather helpless individuals!

Sadly observers have missed out on studying a group of individuals who have never had to do any of the mundane chores millennials are so inept at performing.

All they had to do was to observe the british royal family.

Below is an example of just how inept this bunch really is.

Recently the head of “the firm” as she likes to call it, the queen, advertised in the Standard newspaper for someone to continue a tradition of servitude.

“Royal Shoe Breaker-Inner Required”

Person required to break in shoes on behalf of her majesty.

Requirements. Small foot.

Warning: Must not have smelly feet. This is very important.

Pampered Royal

Of course the queen is not the only helpless soul in that family, just take an objective look at the rest of them! Something royal watchers sadly never do!

Oh one last point, can millennials break in their own shoes? Of course they can, they aren’t that useless or feeble!


About the Author

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The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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5 responses to “What do the royal family and millennials have in common?

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  1. I’m not sure mum could sort out a bike puncture – she has the kit but was never really sure what the spoon was for? But she’s great at changing light bulbs and putting new plugs on stuff and of course eggs are easy peasy. Me, I’m more like a royal… I’m a little pampered pup and I expect you’re a pampered kitty. Why should we have to do stuff when we have all our humans to do things for us!

    • First question. Does Mum have a bike?

      Personally I have never been able to ride a bike, give me a canoe and I am like a Duck… um in a canoe, but a bike :0( No luck. I suppsoe it comes from being very poor when I was a child we could barely afford food let alone other stuff. Heigh ho!

      Still happily I know what the spoon is for. You strat work on the puncture repair. It takes ages and you get nowhere, eventually you get hot, bothered, flustered and lose your temper. That is when you pick up the spoon, melt your drugs in it over a low heat, Nigella style and then.. well I’m not sure what you do next, but I’m sure you’ll work it out.

      After a few minutes you won’t give a damn about the puncture!

      As for putting plugs on, have you notcied how most applainces now are hard wired, you have to really be an expert to change the plug, but I ask the simple question why would you?

      Agreed on the pampered comment… great isn’t it!

      • Of course she has a bike! You should try it.. well, not hers, but a bike… I’m sure you would provide great entertainment to anyone nearby!! She’s not been on it since we moved house but a few months ago dad gave it a mini service so just watch this space! Meanwhile, I think we’ll just call dad if she gets a puncture while we’re out.
        BOL yes she says the hard wired plugs don’t often need changing as nothing works loose in them. But I suppose changing plugs is just one big health & safety nightmare… well, they’re rather complicated to do aren’t they, especially since they changed the colours of the wires…. remembering which one goes where, stripping the plastic stuff off and tidying the little copper wires etc. Perhaps having an electrician daddy helped her with learning that sort of stuff. Now, changing lightbulbs is getting more difficult but only because buying them is a technical nightmare, big bayonet, small bayonet, small screw, big screw, 28w = 37w or whatever those numbers are, halogen, regular, lumens, light colour and goodness knows what other complications to confuddle a human that just wants a regular 40 watt lightbulb.
        PS We’ll google about what to do with a spoon when you have a flat tyre, I think you may be sniffing up the wrong tree there!

      • I have ‘ridden,’ and I use that word only because there is no other way to describe what I am like on a bike, three times.
        The first time I ran over another boke users back wheel, his fault, long story, I was 14.
        The second time I fell off into some Nettle, I was about 25.
        The last time I was in Fuerteventura and ‘rode’ one to the beach, well I pushed it most of the way!
        Horses I can ride even without a saddle, canoes I can paddle but bikes throw me, almost literally!
        Re changing plugs. Here we just have the two prong things that go into the wall, we use Blue and Brown wires with a yellow and green one only in the walls and celings and anywhere that goes to a light socket, switch or plug outlet but the plugs themselves aren’t earthed like the UK so the wiring is easier.

        The Czech republic is home to Tesla and a company of that name still operates, if he had had his way we wouldn’t have wiring and plugs but just caught electriciy from the air, I think!

        I know what you mean about light bulbs, here they do have a comparison legend. 1050 Lumens equals blinding or something like that. Let’s just be thankful we don’t live in the states where they have Foot Candles.

        Imagine candles with feet. You go into a shop and order a size 11 bulb, I presume!

        No I think I am right. I remember when I lived in Clerkenwell, someone had left the front door ajar to our block of flats and a person had crept in, he was sitting as bold a brass on the stone stairs with a spoon etc and he looked just like one of those cycle messgengers that get in the way of traffic in the capital.

        Mind you come to think of it, he didn’t have his inner tube with him. Anyway I told him I was going to fetch my daughter from school and if he was there when I came back I would throw him over the balcony! Seemed to do the trick.

        That’s the sort of reason I prefer sleepy Prague. No pollution human or environmental.

        What was the haircut like? Good I hope!

      • Probably best to stay off the bikes then. Mum’s fine on a bike as long as she’s not been partaking of alcoholic beverages… they can be a bit dangerous then and she has a habit of falling off.
        Foot candles? Haven’t heard of those. We will start feeling thankful we have things like lumens.
        Haircut was very good, just needs a day to ‘settle in’, as one does!!

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