The Swiss sign for…   4 comments

The Swiss sign for it beats me

The Swiss sign for… it beats me?

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”


4 responses to “The Swiss sign for…

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  1. Hmmm… I reckon it’s telling you not to trample the flowers because, if you do, the giant that lives in the mountain will pick you up by your ears and do something very horrible to you. I’ve got particularly lovely long flappy ears, and I’m black, so I for one will be extremely careful! You cats probably don’t have to worry because you have such delicate feet and can even walk through a shelf of fine china without breaking anything. Well, all cats except for Pickle, she hasn’t got that ability. Once, at 3am, she was investigating the window sill in the bathroom and knocked off a huge earthenware jug that smashed in the bath… said bath is no longer white, shiny and perfect… it’s white with lots of little chips. She’s also quite good at squashing a whole tray of seedlings though she said she was just trying to keep them warm.
    I’m getting lost now so I shall go.

    • That giant who lives in the mountain is dangerous. But if he picks my pal with long black flappy ears up by them he’ll get a very strong letter of complaint form yours truly, I can tell you.

      My days of walking through fine china up on high shelves are over but I know what you mean.

      I do like Pickle’s style and would love to hear more of her tales… of destruction.

      No, no don’t go… oh!

      • I feel much safer now that I know you will complain on my behalf… oh no, the dots, the dots.
        A lot of the time it seems that Pickle has a flea up her bottom, she’s always tearing around the house like a mad thing, clearing tables and kitchen worktops. Vertical blinds are treated like an obstacle course on her way to do her claws on the black foamy stuff around the window edges? You can’t normally see it but in our windows we have lots of black pokey bits where she’s picked it out with her claws. She likes to jump over televisions too. We used to have a small one in the kitchen that despite having survived two flights down to ground level it still worked and only had a white corner. TVs only have 2 lives, there is no ‘third time lucky’. We now have a new bigger TV.
        Really do have to go now…

      • You are welcome re the complaint. I actually complain a lot, but only with valid reasons. It works, especailly if you can condense your complaint to 140 charcaters on Twitter, big firms don’t like being shown up.

        It sounds like Pickle is not unlike the cats that my forst wife introduced to the house and as our houses got bigger and she became a lady of leisure we got 8 and then had to get someone to look after them because ladies of leisure don’t do mucky stuff, they are too busy buying make up and clothes.

        Congratualtions on the big TV, we have one or two, but I don’t watch much TV. Modern family and The Big Bang are allowed by my three year old and that is it. Then it is back to fing peppa the fing Pig, oh how I want to roast that porker and her family. If it isn’t her it’s Minnie Mouse or the terrible Chipmunks and she doesn’t like it if you say oh let’s watch…

        Help I think I am being bullied by a three year old.

        You’d think we would watch tv after our girl is asleep but frankly we are too knackered to do that.

        Still Evelyn is lovely!

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