Me? I’m not panicking!   4 comments

Where is the nearest hospital

Ok, checked the map. I can see the nearest location for a telephone, though I have one in my pocket, but where is the nearest hospital? Why won’t they tell me? What if this was an emergency? Help I really need to know where the nearest hospital is urgently!

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

4 responses to “Me? I’m not panicking!

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  1. What’s this? We can play your games? What games are these?? I’ve obviously not been paying attention have I? *ashamed face*
    Yes I know this has nothing to do with the location of the hospital, but I got bored and my eyes wandered. Really must go now, we have house guests this weekend and TWO dogs staying so there is lots to do.

    • Now how about that for honesty!

      “I got bored” presumably with reading my wonderful writing. I’m hurt!

      House guests! Is that when houses come to visit?

      BTW what do you have to do for TWO dogs that is so special? They are just dogs and remember dogs aren’t that fussy, they can’t be judging by some of the things they get up to while washing themselves, oh god I hope it’s ‘washing!’

      • No, no, of course not… I just think I rather OD’d on your posts. It’s not really the dogs, just the humans, three extra ones so there is food to prepare and my dog crumbs to be removed from the house, along with the cobwebs that lurk in the corners and the dust bunny rolls under the sofas. Oh, my toys have to be rounded up and hidden as the new dog, Monty, is a bit possessive about toys. He’s a new rescue and about 9, a yorkie and a brother for Bear the Bichon.

      • Gosh your house sounds quite dirty, oh I don’t think that sounded polite! Whoops. What does Mum do all day? Actually we have loads of cobwebs, I don’t like killing them but my dear other half hoovers them, and mosquitoes and well anything that is dumb enough to force entry into our home.

        We don’t have logs in doors yet because we haven’t built the firplace but when we do she will be very busy har ha! She doesn’t know that bit about open fires… yet.

        Oh the doggie visitors sound a bit of a trial, don’t forget to hide the tripe!

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