Archive for October 2016

This made me smile   Leave a comment

Normally you see this sort of sign on security vehicles which carry cash, jools and other trinkets of high value, but this, I thought was priceless.

I laughed

I laughed!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


STOP PRESS

Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

SORRY STOP THE PRESSES AGAIN

Not only is ‘Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams’ available from the Apple store but for a limited time only as it is Christmas it is now available directly from me, The Cat, for the amazing price of €4.99, that’s $5.50 USD or £4.40 UK pounds. Saving you an awful lot on the published price. To get this incredible deal and your hands on this marvellous electronic book just email me at thecat@thecatsdiary and I will let you have the payment information, then send you an electronic copy by return, because I am nice like that!

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

What is a “stupid” price?   Leave a comment

Just stupid

Does anyone know what a “stupid price” is? Is it too low or so high that only member of the the royal family, oil rich sheiks, oligarchs and other dreadful people can afford it?

Sadly I am afraid that I have no idea and the sign in the window of this bakers was absolutely no help whatsoever.

Actually I like the word ‘whatsoever,’ it feels as though it should never be spelt that way doesn’t it, it an ungainly mixture of three perfectly good words that stand on their own, ‘what,’ ‘so’ and ‘ever,’ which makes it all the more unusual.

Going back to the sign for a moment what does the * * * * * stand for? My guess “Awful!” Just like the sign itself!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


STOP PRESS

Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

SORRY STOP THE PRESSES AGAIN

Not only is ‘Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams’ available from the Apple store but for a limited time only as it is Christmas it is now available directly from me, The Cat, for the amazing price of €4.99, that’s $5.50 USD or £4.40 UK pounds. Saving you an awful lot on the published price. To get this incredible deal and your hands on this marvellous electronic book just email me at thecat@thecatsdiary and I will let you have the payment information, then send you an electronic copy by return, because I am nice like that!

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

So exclusive!   Leave a comment

Oh how nice

Oh how nice! And such a lovely colour for a sign.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


STOP PRESS

Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

SORRY STOP THE PRESSES AGAIN

Not only is ‘Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams’ available from the Apple store but for a limited time only as it is Christmas it is now available directly from me, The Cat, for the amazing price of €4.99, that’s $5.50 USD or £4.40 UK pounds. Saving you an awful lot on the published price. To get this incredible deal and your hands on this marvellous electronic book just email me at thecat@thecatsdiary and I will let you have the payment information, then send you an electronic copy by return, because I am nice like that!

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Damn those loud shoes!   Leave a comment

Damn those loud shoes

Loud shoes are worrying, but should they be banned?


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


STOP PRESS

Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

SORRY STOP THE PRESSES AGAIN

Not only is ‘Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams’ available from the Apple store but for a limited time only as it is Christmas it is now available directly from me, The Cat, for the amazing price of €4.99, that’s $5.50 USD or £4.40 UK pounds. Saving you an awful lot on the published price. To get this incredible deal and your hands on this marvellous electronic book just email me at thecat@thecatsdiary and I will let you have the payment information, then send you an electronic copy by return, because I am nice like that!

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

French double Dutch!   Leave a comment

French double Dutch

Oh how nice! And they say that the French are a bunch of unhelpful, rude something or others!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


STOP PRESS

Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

SORRY STOP THE PRESSES AGAIN

Not only is ‘Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams’ available from the Apple store but for a limited time only as it is Christmas it is now available directly from me, The Cat, for the amazing price of €4.99, that’s $5.50 USD or £4.40 UK pounds. Saving you an awful lot on the published price. To get this incredible deal and your hands on this marvellous electronic book just email me at thecat@thecatsdiary and I will let you have the payment information, then send you an electronic copy by return, because I am nice like that!

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Koreans are so nice   Leave a comment

Koreans are so nice

What a nice sentiment! I really enjoyed my time in Korea but it didn’t feature in my Travelogue, not enough room.

Mind you after 700 Korean beers I think I would say almost anything hic!

Travelogue by John Woodcock


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


STOP PRESS

Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

SORRY STOP THE PRESSES AGAIN

Not only is ‘Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams’ available from the Apple store but for a limited time only as it is Christmas it is now available directly from me, The Cat, for the amazing price of €4.99, that’s $5.50 USD or £4.40 UK pounds. Saving you an awful lot on the published price. To get this incredible deal and your hands on this marvellous electronic book just email me at thecat@thecatsdiary and I will let you have the payment information, then send you an electronic copy by return, because I am nice like that!

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Compelling evidence that everything is pants in China!   Leave a comment

Even though I have a deal to publish my first book, ‘Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary,’ in China and there are so many people of less than medium stature there just waiting to buy several copies each (I hope), I just simply couldn’t resist sharing this picture with you dear cuddly readers!

Compelling evidence that is everything pants in China

Now I know that biting the hand that feeds you is not to be recommended, but when I have I ever done anything that is ‘recommended?’

Never right! So here is the photographic evidence that suggests that everything is pants in China!

After my first book is published in China I rather hope that the good people there will set aside their interest in pants for a while and clamour for my second book, my wonderful Travelogue (pretty picture below) so with that in mind I might not be publishing anymore Chinese related pictures for a while, unless they are very funny of course har ha.

Don’t forget dear cuddly readers you can click on the links below and order either of my two best sellers at Amazon.com and not only make my day but also give one of the most welcome Christmas gifts ever conceived. Yes that’s right Christmas is coming ever closer and you know it makes sense to get on top of it now and order your pressies in advance!

So what are you waiting for click one of my links, there are plenty here and buy your Christmas presents today, or if it is evening where you are… tonight!

Travelogue by John Woodcock


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


STOP PRESS

Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

SORRY STOP THE PRESSES AGAIN

Not only is ‘Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams’ available from the Apple store but for a limited time only as it is Christmas it is now available directly from me, The Cat, for the amazing price of €4.99, that’s $5.50 USD or £4.40 UK pounds. Saving you an awful lot on the published price. To get this incredible deal and your hands on this marvellous electronic book just email me at thecat@thecatsdiary and I will let you have the payment information, then send you an electronic copy by return, because I am nice like that!

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75