This is not supposed to happen is it?   2 comments

Living next to a lake is wonderful.


However it does come with some little challenges, the biggest is probably caused by one of the smallest creatures and they are Mosquitoes, though thank goodness and as far as I know, they are not Zika carriers.

Dealing with the Mosquitoes means having an armoury of countermeasures that sadly don’t work. We have an Italian sonic deterrent outside that… wait for it, deters female Mosquitoes with a high pitched noise, not unlike the whistling Tinnitus in my right ear, so I am the only one who likes the thing, and even though I might like sadly it I don’t think it works.

Then we have the appliances that gas Mosquitoes like this one below.

Plug In Mosquito killer

Well I say ‘gas,’ the little blue pellet gets hot and vapour comes off so that is gassing isn’t it?

Unfortunately this is what is happening all too often, the Mosquitoes visit the appliance as seen below.

This is not supposed to happen is it

And then the bastards come and sting us in our sleep. The only really effective way of killing them I have discovered is to hit them with a plush Sid, you know from the animated movie Ice Age.

Plush Sid you know from the animated movie Ice Age

Now I know that bashing a Mosquito with a plush Sid from the animated movie Ice Age might sound insane and frankly as Mosquito bites tend to drive you that way, it may well be an insane act, but it works!

Why do I believe it works? Well Mosquitoes make an awful mess of your walls and or ceilings if you bash them on the bonce with a newspaper, and with insane asylum white painted walls and ceilings everywhere (oh sorry I mean modern and trendy while walls and ceiling everywhere) you don’t want too many nasty marks around, however when you bash a Mosquito on the head with a plush Sid from the animated movie Ice Age they don’t get squished and that means you just pick them up off the floor and dispose of them in a bin, making sure along the way that the buggers are dead of course.

Just checked to make sure I spelt “bonce” right and the ever dumb Google suggested “Beyonce.” Priceless!

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75


2 responses to “This is not supposed to happen is it?

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  1. I wouldn’t mind if Beyoncé got bopped with a Sid lol.

    • I’d be in that queue too.

      Actually I have a confession to make I forgot to wish you a Happy Birthday for Friday last- sorry about that! I’ve been busy is my excuse. I moved six tons of soil the other day, well the other three days, still feeling the effects… my muscles ache but of course the worst symptom was memory loss. Oh dear that doesn’t sound very convincing does it. Hang on I’ll go off and think up a much better excuse..

      In the meantime Happy Birthday and I hope that Labor Day is a restful one, unless you are hitting the shops!


      The Cat

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