IKEA a rip off in any language   6 comments

IKEA a rip off in any language

It doesn’t matter how much IKEA inflate the price and then lie about “savings” or the language they use to do that, they still produce the worst products in the world, including the egg cups I bought recently which only take eggs the size of duck eggs.

Obviously the ‘designers’ and I use that word very loosely are paid too much and buy duck eggs for breakfast or they have very, very big eggs in Sweden, still I don’t care I threw them away not long after I bought them.

I have to admit that usually IKEA products do last a little longer but they seem to fall apart all to quickly.

What I want to know is how did the world get taken in by IKEA? They are everywhere strangling ordinary, decent furniture manufacturers while producing utter crap! Oh sorry about the word ‘crap’ it really doesn’t describe the awful quality of IKEA products sufficiently. Does it? I do apologise and I will go off and try to think of a word better suited to describing the dreadful landfill they sell!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

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6 responses to “IKEA a rip off in any language

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  1. I also had some runnings with them. I bought a small chest of drawers it was placed on a level wood floor and it kept falling over. I contacted them and they said there was a wall anchor in the box to put holes in my wall and anchor it to the wall O_o seriously? That is the last time I purchased anything from them.

    • I know what you mean. We don’t have much in the way of choice for everyday furniture suppliers here sadly, so we bought a swivel chair from the dreadful IKEA. One of the few parts that wasn’t to be put together by the user was an arm rest, well two. They came already ‘screwed’… in every sense of the word.

      The clown who had screwed the screw in to fix the metal bit to the padded bit (hope I’m not being too technical here) had rammed one screw home with his extremely forceful air powered screw driver and it had not only gone in crooked and jammed tight in the hole, it hadn’t been screwed in all the way so when you used the arms to rise from the chair the arm sank down giving the user a creepy feeling like he’d had too many drams (used especially for your Outlander addiction).

      Of course I took the arm back and stood in line waiting for nonexistent customer service idiot to serve me. They didn’t know what to do with the arm, they have thousands of replacement parts but no arms. I started to get loud to garner the attention of the whole store, it helps to be dealt with efficiently I have found and in the end I had quite a gaggle of yellow shirted brainless ones scratching their heasds wondering what to do.

      A manager and I use that term lightly appears and decided that they would have to replace the arm… really!

      So a small lady was dispatched in to the aircraft hanger like storage area to get a box with an entire chair in it, she struggled back with it, while some rather larger stronger IKEA clad men watched her struggle with the large box. They opened the box and searched for an arm. I of course asked innocently is there was a left and a right one, they sadly didn’t seem to know :0)

      Eventually i was presented with a replacement arm. I was appalled at the total waste of resources that went into making furniture that is crap, wasting a perfectly good new chair to give me an arm, I said i preferred the other one that they hadn’t unwrapped (tee hee) and they were so desperate top get rid of me that they gave in and gave me the other arm.

      I loathe the place, all those wasted trees turned in to stupid little pencils, most of which are blunt!

      As for the advice they gave you, it probably was around the time when their wardrobes and cupboards were falling on and killing small children, obviously something that can happen with a small chest of drawers if you employ daft designers who can’t work out how to make a small chest of drawers stand up on it’s own two feet.

      IKEA Grr! Rant concluded!

      • Hahaha!! I would have loved seeing them scramble like that. I agree, its implorable how they throw this stuff together. They then, make a big deal about it when you have an issue (in your case faulty product) 😦 Glad you atleast got a giggle out of it. I also have not been back to the store in over 5 years now.

      • Not going back to the store for 5 years, good for you. Actually I have this ‘thing’ about complaining, I do it all the time with these smug multinationals who make complaining so very difficult with lock in email pages that go to anonymous entities.

        I had one case recently with a very large company where I was forced to email some clown in India who then replied to my complaint with some pro forma email full of platitudes and no blame. Unfortunately the idiot in question had got my email confused with another person and replied to me with this poor sods address full name etc, enough information to drain the poor buggers bank account. When I informed the manager’s manager that I was going to go public they lied and told me that the idiot who had breached the privacy of the other individual was in training.

        When I mentioned that the training had obviously failed and they should sack him the began making proper apologise and reparations. Complaining is an art especially these days when it’s so difficult to talk to someone, let along grab them by the lapels and pull them across the counter… metaphorically of course!

        Best one yet. I had a large carton of orange juice manufactured by a very reputable German concern which was very close to exploding! It was sealed just like it had left the factory and seemed extremely suspect. After dodging and weaving their way out of talking to me and eventually giving up that tactic because the complainer was so persistent, they had the carton collected and tested.

        Turned out that the damn thing was close to exploding, though they would say why. But their Czech representative called to say he would like to deliver some replacements, the ‘hush’ cartons came in several boxes full of the most expensive OJ so I was placated. ‘Hush’ money would have been better har ha.

        Sleep well!

        The Cat

  2. Oh my, that was funny.. we do like a giggle! The first comment was splendid… a screw to anchor it to the wall… why on earth didn’t anyone else think of that. Mum has only been to Ikea 2 or possibly 3 times in her life, one of which was taking dad for his first ever visit after they’d had a trip to John Lewis. They learnt a good lesson on that trip… don’t park in the John Lewis car park and go to Ikea afterwards because JL close an hour before Ikea and they lock their car park. Luckily they spotted one of the car park people just in time to be let out, or I’d probably have starved to death.
    LOL I can’t reply to your comment on my blog about ‘following’ as I may offend people… it just seems that since I did the last post, or was it the final post, and the last last post etc etc I’ve had a rush (okay, maybe not a rush, but more than usual) of people signing up to follow the old blog and not going to the new one. Sigh.

    • Ok to deal with your last paragraph first, the people signing up to you old blog are probably… hmm how can I put this nicely, ah yes, they are probably IKEA shoppers, nice people but a bit dim, well you have to be dim to accept the rubbish that is thrown together on behalf of IKEA in (usual but not exclusively) China.

      And here comes the comment on the first paragraph… those people described are probably, though not necessarily like the people who park in John Lewis’s car park and then go to IKEA… Oh dear I hope I don’t offend.

      Actually I have been trying to shop at John Lewis, love the place, but it isn’t easy online. Just ordered some stuff from good old M&S and it has been delivered to a pal in German… they don’t deliver here sadly. Still this is what M&S service is like, I ordered the day before yesterday, yesterday they wrote saying the stuff would be delayed by one day and low and behold it is delivered the next day several days early.

      Happily next year we won’t have to mess around ordering stuff on their .eu store because unlike the rest of the UK they are expanding again here and we will be getting Simply Foods Stores for nosh when you’re flush, and some ‘home’ stuff. At last!

      What a shame that John Lewis doesn’t do the same!

      I hope that you resolve the following the old blog crisis, large capital letters might help or if there is a little room just a page with the move details, your message to go to the new blog is a bit hidden if I dare say so. I used to run an ad agency among other things and we used to say “To get the sheep in the right pen, you have to whistle loudly.” translated means the sheep need specific instructions to buy Samsung washing machines or indeed go to a new blog. Good luck with that. Or as it would have said if had I not spotted the type “Goof luck with that!”

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