Calling all “Manly Men”   6 comments

I get a lot of spam, being a star and prominent public I also get a lot of begging letters and not all of them are “returned to sender.”

Normally I just ignore the spam but I couldn’t resist the headline on this one! I hope you laugh as hard as I did when I read this tripe. “manly Men” really, only the retarded, royalty carry guns without a proper imperative!

Enjoy then nonsense!

From: Armed Citizens

To: The Cat

[PERFECT HOLIDAY GIFT 66% COUPON] Give This Common-Sense Weapon to Any Manly Men in Your Life – They’ll Love You For It admin

Manly Man


Well that says it all then doesn’t, oh there’s just one problem I am not a “Manly Man” I am a Cat and I don’t like guns or spam so the idiots at Armed Citizens or to give them their other slightly sinister name the ‘National Protection’ scored a bullseye with this spam didn’t they!

Speaking of marketing, the normal, honest non spam kind that is, I would like to thank all of the amazing people who tipped my little book back into the Amazon Comedy Bestsellers list last month. Thanks you so much!

I suppose you are all stocking up for Christmas, remember gift wrap my books nicely and give as many as you can, someone has to keep this Cat in Prawns or as my wonderful pals across the water call them Shrimp!

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75


6 responses to “Calling all “Manly Men”

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  1. OMD mum loves a nice bright torch… one of those really really mega bright ones… she has lots!

    • Is your Mum scared of the dark?

      You know Cats don’t like torches because humans tend to shine their light on the floor then whisk it away when a poor unsuspecting and totally innocent Cat jumps on thye light ready to perform the Sultan’s Death Grip!

      We have one of those powerful LED jobbies that will blind a anyone at 100 metres but the beam is so narrow I find it difficult to get the eyes you really have to aim properly har ha.

      Honestly I am glad that you Mum has a nice collection of torches (between you and I, I think normal people collect painting or dolls) and I hope that she enjoys using all of them, must cost a fortune in batteries!

      Have a wonderful day and by the sound of it a very well lit night!

  2. Lmao “manly men” what century r we.u r the Evelyn eyes(I assume) Totally sweetheart to Lena from the photo u sent me.

  3. Oh I forgot to mention u got the “claws” to kick Arse. 😉

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