Strange fruit   4 comments

Along the side of many surbaban roads in Tashkent are Маклюра Trees, roughly translated the name is Maclura Tree.

Because the locals didn’t know much about this tree that literally litters their highways I consulted the ever dreadful wikipedia and according to them (although they may be wrong, they often are), the Macular pomifera to give it its full name is quite a tree!

The locals said that the fruit could be used to repel rats and cockroaches, animals that are all too plentiful in Tashkent (and so it crossed my mind that they might be wrong there).

But ‘good old’ wikipedia has other ideas and all sorts of suggestions about what Maclura pomifera (don’t you wish it had a shorter name?) can be used for and indeed is called to say nothing of where e’they’ think it comes from!

Apparently the tree has lots of English common names, which of course the Uzbeks wouldn’t know about but I thought that you, my dear sweet and awfully cuddly readers would like to know. And so here they are!

Osage orange, hedge apple, horse apple, monkey ball, bois d’arc, bodark, or bodock, odd that in the west we refer to this plant as having fruit that is like apple or orange because as far as I know the fruit is poisonous, although rats and cockroachs have yet to be informed of that as they resolutely refuse to die when eating it.

So here is the rather odd tree in its winter glory, I was lucky enough to find one which hadn’t entirely shed its fruit.

Uzbek fruit

According to the ‘ever reliable’ wikipedia this unusual tree also grows in the states, isn’t it nice that a tree that grows in Europe it grows mainly in the exSoviet countries (apart from Italy apparently), maybe that is why wikipedia forgot to mention that the tree grows there?

The Maclura Tree was used, by what I used to call Red Indians, to make bows to shoot at their devoted enemies Cowboys and the 7th Calvary. It’s odd isn’t it that now we have to refer Red Indians as ‘Native Americans.’ I wonder why Red Indians would like to have anything to do with ‘Americans’ the people who stole their land don’t you?

Would you believe that most of the 220 million trees that stretched for 18,600 miles along or around (I’m not sure) the Great Plains states to help modify the weather and stop soil erosion, it’s odd that this happened between 1934 and 1942 and yet wikipedia doesn’t say whether it was a success!

But then you have to remember that as far as wikipedia is concerned this tree only grows in the states, which goes to show just how clever these wikipedian fools are and how daft we are to believe a word written in this dodgy online encyclopaedia which always seems to be asking for money but doesn’t want to earn any!

Oh and if you don’t believe me just look at the map of the natural range of the Macular pomifera as published in this unreliable web resource.

Maclura pomifera range map

Here is the same area with state names on. Odd that this strange fruit must be grown in a Texan city called Tashkent – well you learn something everyday. Well two things actually where Tashkent really is and DON’T TRUST WIKIPEDIA.

Colour Map 2

Oh I forgot to mention that all trees, most metal lamp posts and anything else that sticks out of the ground in Tashkent has white band painted around the bottom from ground level up to a metre or so. This white paint is some sort of repellant to deter creepy crawlies from using the trees as a home, odd that they paint a tree that they think repels cockroaches isn’t it?

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75


4 responses to “Strange fruit

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  1. Nooooo, that’s very harsh. We love Wiki and even give them £3 if they ask us to because mostly it comes up with the answer when we ask the computer a question, so we feel it is well worth £3 and we appreciate not having adverts all over it… but we do confess that our questions aren’t always that challenging. Why don’t you become a Wiki knowledge person, you would make a splendid entry for the Tashkent page and could edit the page for the Maclura Tree… and that would be very wondrous.

    • You are such a nice dog, giving strangers money when they ask for it. But then I have always liked you, can I have $50 every time I ask please! I suppose it is nice to not have adverts plastered all over a wiki page, but them your browser can block them anyway tee hee! And then we wouldn’t have to listen to that uber creep Jimmy Donal “Jimbo” Wales, you know that he uses his status as Wikipedia founder to promote Wikia. On Wikipedia, much fan-generated content gets labeled “fancruft” and is deleted from the encyclopedia, then pushed in Wikia where it is monetized.

      So every time someone ‘helps’ that good ole boy Jimmy to keep wikipedia ad free they are also helping to increase his wealth on wikia. Neat trick from tricky Jimmy don’t you think?

      Dear Teagan I would loathe to be a knowledge Cat, let alone a knowledge person, who really are know-it-alls in other words aren’t they? I only know a little about a lot happily.

      So how would you like to send the $50? Weekly, monthly, immediately? Tee hee!

      • But I bought your book!! er, I’ll pay you in fruit… how many monkey balls is that?

      • Oh dear I do hope that you never have occasion to be blackmailed you cave in far to quickly! Tee hee. And by the way what’s all this about Monkey Balls – ugh!

        Have a lovely evening and do keep your cash in your dungarees and don’t squander it on pushy Cats.

        Hang on though, you just bought the ONE book?

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