Strange Cows in Kansas   8 comments

Strange Cows in Kansas

What is odder odd cows or building a bridge especially for them?

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams

Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75


8 responses to “Strange Cows in Kansas

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  1. That is indeed pretty bizarre but if there wasn’t a bridge how in Kansas are the poor cows supposed to cross the road to get to the greener grass on the other side?

    • That my dear Teagan is a good question. I always find good questions difficult to answer and so like all politicians I will ask you a question instead! Did you have help with it?

      Currently we are in Uzbekistan and will be here until the end of December, I only say that because between the intermittent internet and electricity you might now see a blog or two. did you know they don’t celebrate Christmas here, isn’t that sad!

      Worse Putin is here currently, he arrived last night. I think he came alone so I am pretty sure we haven’t been invaded.

      In a few days we are off to the mountains, they are covered in the white stuff that came out of the sky the other day, cold nasty stuff it is. Worse, as far as you are concerned there are no puddles, but then this place wasn’t designed with animals in mind. Cats and Dogs have a bit of a rough time here sadly.

  2. There happen to be 5 bridges across the stream in our garden… so I’m a bit of an expert in getting to the ‘other side’ where the pheasants usually are… and sometimes I just run and leap across, it’s only a very small stream.
    Goodness me, are you there by choice? That sounds like a very strange place to go for Christmas, or not as you say. Do be careful and run away very fast if you see anyone with a big knife and a cooking pot coming in your direction.

    • The reason we are here is to help inform the local population about just how important the Pallas Cat is. It sadly is in danger of becoming extinct because humans have little or no idea that truly Wild Cats are a very rare thing. We did something similar a few years ago in Siberia for Tigers.

      Frankly it is a little like talking to a brick wall, oops my dipolmacy slipped for a moment, but if we spend time talking to people it’s possible that one or two might listen. It is The Cat’s way of giving something back, he doesn’t really advertise these trips even though sadly as far as he is concerend they do eat heavily into his royalties har ha. Still he doesn’t mind.

      Five bridges that is a lot of bridges, do you really need all five?

      Happily they don’t eat Cat here, they nosh on Sashlik, Samsa and all sorts of other meaty goodies, Sashlik are like heavily spiced Sish Kebabs, and Samsa are baically Cornish Pasties without the veg. They also have Plov a rice dish with large lumps of beef in it and with all of that you have Leproshka a round bread that is rather moreish.

      Best of all as far as I am concerend is the fact that Lamb is cheaper that both Beef and Pork and so you can have sheds loads of the stuff and not be out of pocket mind you in a place where 2500 Soums equal 1 dollar it is a little hard to be out of pocket. Mind you looking at supermarket shelves can be a little off putting, a bottle of Fanta is 4000 and shopping can cost several hundred thousand soums.

      Other oddities are the fact taht every driver on the road is a taxi, if youneed to go from A to B you just stand at the side of the road and point your finger to the ground and someone will stop and whisk you away if they happen to be going in that general direction.

      Most of the cars on the road in Tashkent are new would you believe, they used to be Daewoo and now the very same cars are Cheverolet whio bought the local factory. In rthe countryside the cars tend to be Lada’s with a selection of other soviet masterpieces.

      To be honest I wouldn’t say I like it here, but it is probably a lot better than you would think. Last time I was here ten years ago though I was taken tot he best restaurant in Tashkent and given disentry and so you have to be very careful what you consume.

      My stuggle with humans is a personal one so I don’t publicise our work with wild Cats so you may not see anything on the blog except a few dotty product names, mind you if I spot any Pallas Cats I will take some pictures of them of course thought it is about as likely as spotting a Siberian Tiger – we didn’t in the two weeks we were there, but we will have been here a month, the length of my visa, by the time we leave home and the New Year in Prague, can’t wait.

      I can’t tell you how much I miss Baked Beans currently, sadly the gear we brought meant that we weren’t able to bring little luxuries, althoug between you and me I did stash a pack of Marks and Sparks Butter Mints into one of the translator’s socks and if he takes them off I will be in minty heaven.

      It is bed time here now as we are five hours ahead of you down in darkest Dorset, so I am going to curl up and doze.

      Sleep well too.

      • Goodnight cat, my, I am very impressed.. what a lovely animal the Pallas’ cat is, I wish you well in your mission. I have also been looking at photos of Tashkent and it looks like a nice place with some very interesting buildings. Bad planning re the baked beans… but you will appreciate them all the more upon your return home. I have now spent far too long wandering around Tashkent and watching Pallas’ cats so must get on.
        And no, you’re right, we don’t ‘need’ 5 bridges. Only 2 are proper wooden bridges, 1 is a tree trunk, 1 is a pair of railway sleepers side by side and the other is a very large piece of round drainage pipe on its side. All in very useful spots though.
        Looking forward to your cat photos…

      • Why thank you my dear Doggie friend. I don’t always impress people, but frankly I never try that much. I am only loud when making jokes or pointing out other’s little daft ways. The important stuff such as being here and indeed trying to raise awareness for all sorts of endangered Cats is much more discrete.

        To be honest I get a little peeved by all those celebrities and royals who seem to make such a fuss of ‘doing good’ while of course raising their profile in the media, it is almost as though they only ‘do it for charity’ to further their careers!

        Tashkent is different. The old town is now very small, a sort of shanty place that whities such as myself would find quite challenging to visit, or so my driver says. Sadly it is now overlooked by a carpark for a brand new shopping mall, where they they are announcing the BIG ONE, yes “BHS a leading British Brand” is about to set up shop, following Mothercare, the Early Learning Cetre and others, no Burger joints though.

        The entire city was devastated in the 1966 by an enormous earthquake, which meant that all of the old silk route buildings were destroyed. There is an enormous monument to the um survivors I suppose. The Courage Monument which you may have seen is jolly large.

        I was told that in the old days when men were men and women looked like them too in statues Tashkent was the fourth largest city in the Soiviet Union, it was and actually is a centre of learning. With a Railway University, which is close to where we are staying. The students wear nylon uniforms and glisten in the sunlit snow. Tee hee.

        I am so pleased that your collection of bridges is of a more normal nature. I was worried that pooch with five bridges would think that she was better than the rest of us bridgeless folk. But happily that isn’t the case.

        Adfd Bacon to the list of things missed, so it will be an English Breakfast in Prague when I get back, can’t wait.

        As I said don’t hold your breath for pictures of the delightful Pallas Cat we are here to chat about him rather than take any photographs, unless one just happens to pop up and pose, though that is very unlikely, ike most persecuted animals they are very wary of strangers, especially the strangest – humans. But we will try.

        Unfortunately in the mountains it’s possible that we will only see the poor Pallas Cat’s coats and really sadly they won’t be worn by the fellas themselves.

        Have a great day. I will think of you when I have Beef Sashlik later. Yum yum.


        The Cat

  3. Ah, what a relief.. I was beginning to get worried. While I am here though, did you spot any of the Pallas Cats?

    • Wow are you catching up? That post is covered in dust. Sadly as i feared we only saw Pallas Cat coats and they weren’t on the very fellas that need them most. Happily they were all rather old Pallas Cat coats and could have been the ones we saw last time, well I hope so. As for the Cat himself or the Cats themselves there were signs, foot prints and the like but not a single hair what-so-ever.

      Fortunately the tracks we saw were reasonably fresh and suggested that more than one individual was scurrying around in the cold but these are very shy creatures as you can imagine and so taking a mug shot would be impossible sadly because they are rather attractive cats.

      Saw loads of rats in the middle of the Tashkent city centre, I don’t like rats. There we also far too many stray cats for my liking, but then this is a problem that seems to be increasing everywhere and although i don’t like to mention it, you have read my book you’ll know why, owners really should neuter their cats, all that breeding is not good for anyone it is?

      Have a great evening.


      The Cat

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