Oh dear! It’s exam results time in the UK…   14 comments

They say that Japan has the best education system in the world and believe it or not the UK is second, with South Korea third.

Well I don’t know where they people who complied that list get their information from because according to the list of answers to reasonably easy questions (that a Cat could answer without reference, and I don’t mean Google) a lot of students in the UK are very very dumb indeed.

Question: The first cells were probably…?

Answer: Lonely.

Question: Suggest one reason why it is a good idea to collect data by asking the public to observe when conkers open:

Answer: So the government doesn’t have to do it.

Question: What do the following chemical equations stand for – HCOONa:

Answer: Matata.

Question: Write an example of a risk:

Answer: This.

Question: When should a motorist use his or her bright beams?

Answer: When he wants to be an asshole

Question: Why are there rings on Saturn?

Answer: Because God liked it, so he put a ring on it

Question: Give a brief explanation of the meaning of the term ‘hard water’:

Answer: Ice

Question: What is the process for separating a mixture of chalk and sand?

Answer: A process called flirtation

Question: What is methane?

Answer: Methane is a smelly greenhouse gas which is produced when trees and or cows are burned.

Question: What is the meaning of the term ‘activation energy’?

Answer: It’s what is needed to get me up in the morning.

Terrible student

Every picture tells a story and pictures tend not to lie!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams


Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Advertisements

14 responses to “Oh dear! It’s exam results time in the UK…

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. Hi John hope all is well with the family x Been busy with house having work done so behind with everyone, but catching up 🙂

    • Hi Archie, We are great here thanks, Evelyn is four months now and keeping us busy, but happily the weather is wonderful and the Czech republic makes life so easy for people to live here that life is great.

      Glad to hear that you are on top of the house, if you see what I mean, well catching up, but I liked my little jokette! We are looking at houses in the country to refurbish at the moment, would you believe that you can buy a house with great potential – ok ‘neglected,’ with a lot of land for as little as 60 UKP, and because wages aren’t that high here, and builders haven’t discovered the tactics of their brother workers in the UK you can do up a house for a reasonable amount of the hard earned.

      It will take us a while to find the right place but we’d like one before Evelyn is old enough to appreciate a garden.

      Have a great week.

      J

  2. Reblogged this on soyun69 and commented:
    what’s a “conker”?

    • A “conker” is a fruit of the Horse Chestnut Tree, they are encased in bright green seed pods and fall to the ground in the Autumn or as you Americans would say “fall in the Fall!” which sounds very silly I have to say, anyway on with the description of ‘conkers,’ the seeds or fruit are like misshapen balls and have a light brown circle that looks like a Monk’s tonsure (bald patch) the rest of the conker is a beautiful chestnut brown and very shiny so shiny it looks polished. Come the Autumn in England small boys collect conkers and make a hole right through the conker, threading string through the hole and knotting one end.
      They then play conkers with them, a game whereby each player takes turns to swing their conker at their opponents the aim of the game is to destroy the opponents conkers.
      Great fun and bruised fingers, sore eyes and all sorts of other collateral damage is had by all.

      Hope that helps!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: