Please read carefully!   14 comments

As the title of this blog says – Please read this carefully, and then enter my competition.

The Chinese should be ashamed of themselves

Now what do you make of the Chinese after reading this sign, come on answer honestly, they are a bunch of perverts aren’t they?

Prizes will be awarded for anyone who can say just what the step by step instructions are for, without resorting to filth and rudeness – oh I have just realised that is an impossible competition tee hee!

About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store at last, yes it’s my wonderful first book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ so what are you waiting for you lovely Apple users?


14 responses to “Please read carefully!

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  1. is this one of the self cleaning lavatory..3 steps to use the machine.. omg. lmao this is so funny.

    • You are so right, this sign is almost the pinnacle of sign writing misinformation coupled with a glorious mistranslation, well done the Chinese, if I had a hat I would take it off to them.

      I say “almost the pinnacle” because I know that somewhere, possibly even at this very moment, an arrogant Chinese sign writer working with a ‘clever’ ad agency executive and added translator who thinks that he or she understands the English language is dreaming up an even better mugging of the English language just for me to find and post on my site – bless them, what would we do without the future leaders of the world to laugh at?

      • the translation reminds me of all the Korean Stationary products i have seen here and Korea.The “engulish” is so funny; some of the words were spelled wrong and the sentence were very questionable.

      • I love that sort of thing don’t you? I had a problem with something I bought on line from China and when we were exchanging emails the Google Translate English they were using was hilarious, and so at the end after I had torn all of my fur our I compose a letter of “fortitude” a word that they had misused all over the place.

        It went something like this I remember.

        Dearest Miss,
        Spinster green garden, likewise most officious, sentimental pardon, righteously imbued forgiveness.
        Most weevils delight, post lament, while attempting to vault. Please ensure all cariness when postaging happen.

        and on and on.

        Oddly enough I immediately got a reply and was told that the item would be replaced and lo and behold it arrived several weeks later, China post maybe cheap but it isn’t very fast!

      • omg…always a crack up..

      • You are too kind and of course accurate!

        Have a great day.

      • u too.. say hi or should i say Mew to Lena. hee hee

        Cheers ;) slowly getting the hang out British lingo..reference from tv show “Crossing Lines”..

      • Hmm not seen that I will have a look. Thanks.

      • Its with Donald Sutherland…woohoo. check itunes

      • Will do tx!

  2. hug and noses to you my most handsome Genius.

    * For the guys Id say cleaning their.. well bottoms. since its saying @%$3-Cleaning.
    * For the women….I dare not even think about how the pervertness of this may be!! Oh My!! I guess cleaning the Hmm…thinking of a proper way to say this without being rude….how about Folded Napkin?

    Love you as always, Please send my best to all XO Noses and hugs XO

    • You are spot on there. And it is great to hear from you. Thanks for the noses and hugs, you are a star.

      I hope that your weekend when it arrives is sublime. Mine is about to begin now, it is 7.11 Friday evening and high time I stopped work, walked home and got Pizza on the way I think, if the Pizza shop is open at the tram stop, if not then I expect it will be stew, I have had a lot of home made soups this week because of a visit to the hospital on Wednesday, happily back on solids now har ha.
      The good news is that now I don’t have any more planned (and hopefully no unplanned) trips to the hospital. I am as healthy as I can be now and very happy to be able to say that.


      The Cat and John

      • Oh no! I hope all is well now! I know a lot of creepy little bugs have been sneaking into the bodies of many as of lately. I wish you the best as always.

        I made a killer thick stew last week and had enough to make a few meals out of it. The remaining stew was frozen for me to use in a meat pie for later this weekend. My boyfriend does not care for stews much, but he does love the pies.

        Hugs n Noses to you and all.

      • Yes all is well now. I have had rather a lot of time in hospital this year, not because of bugs, but other nasty things unfortunately, and now all of it is behind me thank goodness. You do the same with stew that I do, several meals and them pies. Love both.

        We also have something called Samsa it is a Uzbek style pie you can see them here –

        I have to say they are really nice when made with beef and not unlike Cornish Pasties which are divine! Here are Cornish Pasties if you haven’t seen them before.

        Have a wonderful weekend.


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