Archive for August 2012

Today I would like to talk about Orphans in Kenya   Leave a comment

WHAT ON EARTH DO THEY DO TO ORPHANS IN KENYA?

Hungry orphans in Kenya

Have they no heart the Kenyans? These are orphans for goodness sake! They have a life that is hard enough without starving them – go on give them a Prawn! Oh and do give this caring Cat a Prawn too for mentioning it!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , ,

Advertisements

Welcome to Russia poster blunder   Leave a comment

In a recent Metro poster advertising campaign across Europe designed to encourage tourists to visit Moscow, the authoritarians may have just shot each other in the foot, or is that feet?

Welcome to Russia 1

The poster in question showed a typical Moscow morning scene with a bit of pre-rush hour traffic, some domes, places of cultural interest, a river and oh! Of course a bit of green. You know the sort of “Come on! What are you waiting for? Visit us, it’s a nice place,” poster that is produced by every tourist board in every city for their countries and capitals.

Unfortunately the ex-comrades decided to take this particular aerial picture just before the Moscow pollution smog came up in the afternoon, or it might have been that the light was ‘right’ and the photographer was a perfectionist! Who knows? What we do know is that when they took the picture they obviously didn’t notice a convoy of military vehicles was pootling along the road next to the Moscow River, maybe it just happens so often that they didn’t think that sort of thing was unusual.

If they had known/cared/noticed etc., they might have waited ten or fifteen minutes so that the convoy of lorries carrying missiles armed with nuclear warheads wasn’t in their shot!

Oh sorry did I forget to mention that the line of traffic (shown in the enlargement below) was carrying enough missiles armed with nuclear warheads, through the sunny centre of Moscow, to blow more than the skin of everyone’s rice pudding in the entire world – or definitely do that to the people that ‘The Put’ doesn’t like or agree with, a list that gets longer by the day!

Welcome to Russia 2

Mind you if you really want to frighten the children show them the picture below.

Welcome to Russia 3

Ok look away I beg you before you turn to salt sometime in advance of you becoming just an unfortunate casualty in a nuclear ‘conflict’ (as they call ‘wars’ these days) and get turned to salt anyway.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , ,

A Prince among fools   Leave a comment

Harry naked

Ok we have all been here before haven’t we? A member of that sad, discredited and failing British institution the royal family caught with his trousers down and I am not talking about Henry VIII who was a master when it came to waving his royal naughty bits around. Which incidentally just goes to show that in 486 years they haven’t learned their lesson – talk about slow learners!

I had to laugh at a headline which I saw today in the online edition of the Daily Telegraph “Prince Harry faces ‘dressing down’ from commanding officer” I wondered just how much more ‘dressing down’ the fool among princes can achieve – see photograph above which looks as though it has been cut out of a gay magazine – “not guilty!”

Which all goes to show that the royal family and not just the royal wand wavers should be got rid of and quickly. The royal family obviously believe that they are just as entitled to the atrocious behaviour of ego maniacs today as they always have been like oh to name but one Henry VIII who of course changed the religion of the country to get a girl to say “yes!”

Oh by the way apparently the punishment that will most likely be levelled at the naked prince for shaking his stuff and being daft enough to do that in a room full of naked drunks is to have to donate his wages to charity! Now that would be a real punishment if he was a real soldier, but being a pretend part-time soldier and a real playboy who’s suite next door to where he gate crashed a hen party and stripped off cost $10,000 a night.

Which beggars the question, how do you punish these idiots with more money than sense? You could just stop them in their tracks, strip them of all of their wealth and then rent them out to the rich who need a token royal guest to really get that party started.

Mind you I don’t suppose that the Duke of Edinburgh does that sort of thing anymore and when he did at least he did it in the room next door to the Queen’s bedroom (apparently) and the Queen – well did you see her face in the TV cameras during the Olympics, most heads of state would have killed to have done what she was invited to do, but she didn’t crack her face and smile did she?

Oh and by the way just how much leave from the military has prince Harry managed to accrue? He had time off for most of the Olympics and still enough leave to party his way across America – why does the British Military have to put up with these royal fools?

It must cost millions to protect the royals even when they aren’t anywhere near the frontline and if I recall the Royal Navy had to give prince Charles a ship to command at the end of his naval career because he whined so much! Happily they found him an 18 year old minesweeper that no one was too worried about if he spilt his Gins no the furniture or clipped a dock wall or two here or there!

Funny how after just five years of service in the Royal Navy which ended in 1976 the fool was made an Admiral in 2006? Which begs the question – what the f**k?

Get rid of them and do it soon. The royal family make Britain look like a laughing stock.


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , ,

Goodbye Neil Armstrong and thank you   2 comments

Sadly a hero has passed away. Neil Armstrong was someone who like most people in the world I didn’t know, never met and never had an opportunity to meet, but like millions of people at the end of the 1960’s I watched him in fuzzy black and white tv pictures do something that no one will ever do again and that was be the first person to step, not only on the Moon but on a different planetary body, and all you can say to that is WOW!

Neil Armstrong

Just how brave does someone have to be to travel so far and to take that first step onto somewhere so alien? Although he would have been briefed till the cows come home on just what to expect Mr. Armstrong was the sole individual who had to actually do all the things that enabled a moon landing. Again WOW!

Apollo11logo

Put yourself, for a moment, into the great big white suit, helmet and shoes of this hero and try to imagine just what was going through his mind, with millions watching on tv, as he used a joystick affair that was a lot more primitive than ones to be found on games consoles today to land on the Moon and then several hours afterwards open the hatch and make your way down a ladder onto the dusty surface of the Moon, no I can’t imagine what it was all like, oh I do wish that we all had had the opportunity to have chatted to the guy for five minutes. I just hope that I wouldn’t have shook his hand and just kept saying WOW all the time!

Apollo 11 Launch

What a journey, what an adventure, what a marvellous achievement and what a story Mr. Armstrong had to tell.

In England (where I was born) if you win an Olympic gold medal or two, or a football competition it’s ‘usual’ for you to be made a ‘sir’ or knighted as the royalists call it. So if Neil Armstrong had been English how would they have rewarded him? I have no idea but at the very least he would have been given the honour of a state funeral! So come on America what are you waiting for? Insulting the memory or a such a hero is beneath you!

Apollo 11 Lunar Module Eagle in landing configuration

Now I do hope now that the ‘clever’ people who believe that the Lunar landings were just a hoax will not try in their cowardly way to tarnish the memory of one of the world’s heroes, this great man simply doesn’t deserve it!


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , ,

A sign of madness!   Leave a comment

Pardon

I know! It is absolutely perfect isn’t it?


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , ,

Educational nonsense across the world   Leave a comment

As we all know who are or have been parents it is time to send our little one and indeed our bigger ones back to school and so with that in mind I thought i would share a little snap I saw from a South African TV news programme which was discussing the importance of education.

Educational nonsense across the world

Oops! Well it just goes to show how important a good education is doesn’t it?


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , ,

Back to School   Leave a comment

For most young people it’s back to school soon and for a lot of them they will be looking forward to getting a decent education, sadly that doesn’t seem to be the case in the UK as this road sign shows.

Back to School

Mind you as the government of David Cameron is now making it almost impossible for working class or as we call them nowadays ‘poorer families’ to send their children to further education what do you expect?


About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Technorati Tags:
, , , , , , , , , ,