Archive for March 2012

Dare you book a holiday with this travel agent?   Leave a comment

If you live fast then you may want to use this travel agent! Based in Seoul, Korea and Swansea (obviously) Dai Young Travel never fail to deliver death defying holidays with their partner airline which is obviously JetBlue.

Dai Young Travel

JetBlue I hear you cry, where is the joke in that? Well my cuddly boys and girls if you read the paper you would have read all about the fun and games laid on by the pilot of the JetBlue flight from JFK to Las Vegas as the ranting pilot was pinned down by passengers, one of whom then made an emergency landing in Amarillo Texas.

JetBlue

I could of course have added a picture of the poor unfortunate devil being ‘de-planed’ (as they used to say) strapped to a gurney and screaming, but I thought that was a little sick and so my dear cuddly readers you will have to be content with a picture above. Of course if you want to witness the poor devils suffering you can turn to any national newspaper and of course Google or YouTube who all obviously have much lower standards than this Cat.

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Posted March 29, 2012 by The Cat in Uncategorized

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HillBilly Humour   Leave a comment

HillBilly Humour
Well that is one way to deal with Junk Mail, I wonder what they do to all of the spam that Google’s Gmail attracts?


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Weekend viewing   Leave a comment

Over the weekend as my twitter (twitter.com/TheCatsDiary) followers will probably know I watched the Muppet Movie, not the first one which has that wonderful gag about turning left at the fork in the road and the next thing you know there is a big fork stuck in the middle of a junction tee hee (oh how I laughed at that), no this was the most recent one and I have to say that I was so pleased to see that Disney seem to have learned their lesson from disaster movies like the ‘second coming of Pooh Bear’ or whatever the movie was called and they made a rather good little Muppet Movie.

I also have to say that I suppose that I am a little bias, liking the Muppets, being as you know something of a anthropomorphic character myself but all the same I would recommend that you rent of even buy the DVD of this fine little movie which should not only entrance five year olds but also make oldies laugh more than a little.

Muppet Movie

Speaking of twitter if you do happen to fancy a little adventure, and we are talking rather small here I have to say, do drop by my twitter page because if you do you will be able to see an old pal of mine, Bumper, who was a very large Tabby Cat of my acquaintance.

Bumper got his name from the part of a car that hit him before we rescued him from the side of a road in London. As you can see from the picture, Bumper made a full recovery and lived for ages with us in the countryside.

He enjoyed sunning himself, sniffing grasses in the garden if he was persuaded to go outside, something that he had obviously had quite enough of as an alley Cat. Most of all Bumper enjoyed impersonating desk ornaments, in fact he always wanted to be the only desk ornament and so when he stretched out on ‘his’ desk he would gently knock everything else that was on the desk off believing that his little game wasn’t being noticed! If any Cat in the world was more gentle or indeed more ‘smiley’ (if that was a word) then I haven’t met him or her he was a great Cat and the perfect advert for adopting a stray Cat.

If you got to my twitter page (address above for those who have problems remembering things they have read)you will also be able to see the result of my ‘Make a Carrot Cake Day.’ Oh you are so lucky my wonderfully cuddly readers.

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It’s Monday   Leave a comment

It happens every week, well it has happened so far every week since I was born and I expect (based on evidenced gained from various calendars and enormous research to see if they all said the same) that it is going to happen every day, about this time of the week, for the rest of my life and dare I say ‘yours’ if I may be so bold. It’s Monday!

This Monday is bright sunny, a bit nippy and promises to be rather special if not a little long as it is 6.20 am EST.

I have saluted the flag that is usually the Euro flag flying above the studios here in Barrandov, but is so tightly wrapped around the flagpole it looks as though it had a bit of a fright in the night, and now I am heading off to my studio to create some feline themed magic, wish me luck!

Barrandov Studios

Of course when I took this picture there was an unexpected gust of wind (not Feline) and the flag in question (the one on the right) decided to billow, they do that don’t they? Flags. Still as they say that is life.

On this day:

Did you know that on this day 26th of March 1612 absolutely nothing that could be considered interesting or noteworthy whatsoever happened. Trust me to start a series entitled ‘on this day’ and pick a day where nothing of interest happened!


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Not The Right Way In New Zealand   Leave a comment

You humans confuse me sometimes, take this sign for instance why put a sign up to tell people to go this way if it is the wong way. Instead why not put a sign up to show the right way. That would be really less confusing wouldn’t it?

Not The Right Way In New Zealand

Speaking of pronunciation I thought you might like this little jokette of mine which is now doing the rounds in pubs, clubs and the internet.

An Englishman, a Russian, and a Chinese chap all got jobs on a building site.

On the first day the foreman pointed to a massive pile of sand and told the Englishman, “You’re in charge of sweeping, I want you to sweep the sand up into that pile.”

To the Russian he said, “You’re in charge of shovelling and I want you to shovel the sand back into the pile and you are both to keep the pile neat and tidy.”

He turned to the Chinese chap he said, “And you are in charge of supplies.” The he left saying “I’ve to go for a little while and I expect you guys to work hard while I am away.”

Later when the foreman returned, the pile of sand was looking pretty neat and tidy, the Englishman had swept the site clean and the Russian had shovelled the sand back into the pile. The foreman was very pleased and told them that they had done well and worked very hard.

Then he looked around for the Chinese guy and when he couldn’t see him he asked his two good workers if they knew where he was, the shook their heads.

Just then, the Chinese guy jumped out from his hiding place in the pile of sand and shouted…

“SUPPLIES!”

Chinese Guy Jumping

Posted March 22, 2012 by The Cat in Uncategorized

Guess the Guest Blogger   Leave a comment

Dave the Cat

Hello everyone it is me Dave the Cat you may well know me as a character in The Cat’s feline literary masterpiece ‘Getting Out Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary,’ happily I am more than just a character and I wanted to prove that by writing a blog for The Cat and after a lot of whining, pawsticuffs and the promise of a day off The Cat has allowed me a whole page to talk to what he calls ‘his’ followers, but to people we all know like me even more than the Cat.

You know I am so happy to be the guest blogger today on The Cat’s blog, hang on sorry about this interruption, “what do you mean my blog was supposed to be a secret, oh I can see that now and yes you are right there is a clue in the title!”

Sorry about that Cats, ladies and gentlemen it appears that I have got off to a bit of a bad start with my blog, but that is just the half of it, I think it is really difficult to write blogs and I don’t know how The Cat manages to do it so often, I would take my hat off to him, but as you know I am allergic to taking my hat off.

You know I had it all planned, I was going to be witty, a bit racy and finish with a bang but I am finding it really difficult to write this blog, my thoughts hurt almost as much as my paws do from typing.

I was going to say… but I think I will leave that for later and go off and have a lie down.

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Getting fit the Tunisian way   Leave a comment

When you are on holiday you have, as I see it two choices, you can coat yourself in sun tan lotion, flop down next to the pool, order a constant supply of cool drinks, and totally veg out or you can use the sun, sea and spare time to get fit.

They do say that Tunisia is a great place to go on holiday, I personally don’t agree, but a lot of people do visit for a holiday and come back again although less since the whole Arab Spring – that’s vista and come back rather than just visit and disappear of course.

One of the many reasons why I think that Tunisia is such a bad choice as a holiday destination is the weird ideas that they have for exercising as the picture below suggests.

Abdominal Buttocks In Tunisia

Another reason is ‘safety’ and I can’t stress this one enough, if you stray into the native areas or indeed a Gym you could be risking your life. Again these dangers are demonstrated using the picture – which is now above . Just imagine a ‘Water Aerobics’ class that soon after requires ‘Body Pumping!’ Just how much water do these characters expect use mere mortal holidaymakers to take on board?


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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