Archive for December 2011

A Tip For Everyone With A New Ebook Reader   Leave a comment

I am so pleased for everyone who got an eBook reader for Christmas, aren’t they great? Yes of course they are! They can hold hundreds of books and they, in the main, are easy to use.

Here is an essential tip for everyone who got an ereader for Christmas from your friendly superstar Cat. Whatever you do make sure that you download my books to your eReader from either Amazon or my http://www.wickedlywonderfulwebsite shop here The Cat’s Webstore

Here are some essential links to Amazon.com that will take you to both Getting Out Excerpts From A Cat’s Diary or here Amazon’s page for The Cat’s Travelogue all you have to do is to click the blue line or lines of your choice.

Just so you know what you are looking for here are some pretty pictures of the covers. May I suggest that once you have read my ebooks you order a copy of each book in paper form for your bookcase, they too look wonderful on any bookcase shelf because they have pictures of me on the covers and spines.
Getting Out Cover

The Cat s Travelogue Cover

Don’t forget that those nice people at Amazon.com and also my http://www.wickedlywonderfulwebsite don’t stop for Christmas or the New Year and so if you want to fill your brand new shiny eReader, whatever the make, you can do it right now, and of course if you do then you will make a little Cat very happy indeed!


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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So Lego, I Don’t Get Lego!   Leave a comment

Yesterday I walked into a the front room and was treated to the same experience as walking on glass, there was Lego everywhere and the nasty sharp little edges bit and cut my paws, what a shame I wasn’t wearing my non-slip booty socks that I am absolutely certain someone will buy me for Christmas – someone who doesn’t much care for me of course because we all know I want a Motor Yacht!

I just don’t get Lego and can’t for the life of me understand the attraction of so many bits and pieces and odd little lego shaped figures. Apparently there is a box of Lego bits that if you have the patience makes something called a Uni Mog and if you are like me this is where you say “so what!”

Why would anyone want to make a lego Uni Mog? I have no idea frankly, and to make matters worse although I have no real clear idea what a ‘Uni Mog’ looks like I am pretty sure it does’t look like the picture below. Just to put the Uni Mog business to bed I should for the sake of detailed reporting say that the Uni Mog is the biggest, most complicated Lego Technic set on sale consists of 2,048 pieces! It costs over $300! What a waste! Imagine for a moment just how many Prawns you can get for three hundred big ones!

Uni Mog

I was in London the other day Eurostarring. I had to make some visits to shops featuring my latest book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ and sign them for the throngs of happy people who had waited hours in the rain in Brussels, Paris and London, well I say ‘happy’ that of course is a little truth wrestling the crowds weren’t happy to wait in the rain but they cheered up with a few personally ‘pawed’ (my way of signing) books.

I had just stepped off the rather dirty Eurostar train and was confronted by the 40 ft high Lego Christmas Tree in the main concourse of St Pancras Station which apparently according to the sign standing, mainly unread, in front of it was made using 600,000 pieces by the children from the Harpenden Explorer Scouts, Edith Neville Primary School in Camden and Copenhagen Primary School in Islington.

Lego Xmas Tree

The forlorn sign under the Christmas Tree where in a normal world wrapped presents would sit goes on to say that the Lego Christmas Tree took the young ones ‘just’ two months to build.

What a shame they wasted their time, like all things ‘Lego’ the Lego Christmas looks very little like the real life object. But then the world isn’t real is it and the only reason there aren’t any presents under the Lego Christmas Tree is that a pile of presents would be a wonderful place to leave a rather ‘unchristmasy’ bomb.

Do you think that the Lego Christmas Tree was worth all that trouble? Just look at the terrible tyre marks made by the crane thinly that put it together to say nothing of the school time wasted by the children who ‘helped’ decorate it, surely they would be better off reading err… my books for instance.

Lego Xmas Tree 2

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Happy Christmas – Your card   2 comments

The Cat s Christmas Card

I would like to say thank you to every one of my wonderful cuddly readers who buy my books in their thousands, read my blog, send me presents, offer kind words and do such wonderful things for me (although I am tapping my paw over the Motor Yacht, I have to say).

As the card says Happy Christmas and Purrs to you all.

The Cat

Posted December 21, 2011 by The Cat in Uncategorized

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It’s Time To Go Up To The Mountains Again   2 comments

As the title correctly says for a lot of us it is time nearly to slide into some shiny Gore-Tex, sharpen our elbows and practice being rude to anyone who gets in our way as preparation for attacking the nearest ski slope! Or it would be if you are going skiing anywhere that caters for the British and German riff raft tourist.

The areas blighted by these ignorant ski slope bullies include most of France, Austria and Italy and unfortunately a lot of the slopes on the west coast of the US.

If you want a nice quiet ski without being knocked over by some idiot who believes that they can ski in-between breaking a leg then the best place to go is, in my case, ‘local.’

There is of course is yet another reason to go ‘local’ this year and that reason is that a lot of the ‘popular’ (and for ‘popular’ just substitute ‘cheap’ ski resorts where the skiing riff raff assemble to knock each other over on the slopes by day and drink each other under the table by night) don’t actually have any snow – something to do apparently with global warming.

Still never mind about the riff raff happily they won’t be skiing where I am going skiing this year or indeed where we took a little Winter hol at the begging of this year, as you can see from the picture below we went to Switzerland at the beginning of the year.

I have to say that Switzerland is a spooky place. While we were up in the Swiss Mountains we decided to take a tour of the many and various Cheese and Watch factories instead of skiing it is amazing what you will do when you get bored isn’t it?

Anyway we hopped on the Snow-Express which is the name for a little coach tour can you imagine our surprise at the name of the tour company? Well happily though of you who are hard of understanding and imagining don’t have to imagine actually or indeed to imagine too hard because it’s on the back of the bright red coach below.

Swiss www

I have to say that after the unusual experience of our little wwwank-tour we felt rather glad to be back on the ski lifts the next day as you can imagine.

I have to say I love ski lifts, probably more than skiing, well you try skiing with four skis strapped to your feet! Skiing is hard enough to do when you just have the two! Although I don’t like the concept of snowboarding I’ve had a go a couple of times now and think that it’s really a way of getting down a snow covered mountain that was probably designed more for Cats to use than for humans. I took to it like a Duck to water.

So this year when I go skiing I won’t be getting someone to lug all of my skis to the slopes I will just get them to carry my snowboard instead.

Skilift

Although nothing to do with any of the above really, I mentioned that I was going off skiing in the New Year to Špindlerův Mlýn in the Krkonoše Mountains which is one of the highest and the most popular mountain ranges in Bohemia and indeed the Czech Republic’s best known ski areas and a nice group of Czech fans of The Cat who writes blogs made some Cat Cup Cakes just for me, aren’t they nice – the cup cakes and the fans!

Cat Cup Cakes


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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Why Are Cats So Much Better Than Humans – An Occasional Series By The Cat   4 comments

1. Seeing in the Dark

Cats are only able to see the same colours as a colour blind person these colours are yellows, blues and violets all of which means Cats can’t see reds, greens or oranges. This is because, while the retinas of Cats are similar to humans, they contain two types of light-receptors called rods and cones, humans are different and have more of the cone types than rods and it’s these cones that are responsible for colour vision.

Happily Cats and for that matter Dogs (if they really mattered of course) have more rods and it’s the rods that are the receptors responsible for seeing in the dark.

Sunglasses Cat

This means that Cats may have poorer colour vision than humans, but fortunately we have far superior night vision, and as an extra bonus we are so much better at tracking movement all of which means that clever Cats can see things eight times better than mere humans in the dark.

For the Record

It must be stated that Cat’s, unlike Sid the Sunglass Cat (pictured), do not normally wear sunglasses, or should that read – normal Cats do not normally wear sunglasses?


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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There Is Something Wrong With This Message, But I Don’t Know What It Is!   Leave a comment

There definitely is something very wrong with this sign and what it says, but I don’t, for the life of me, know what on earth it is, do you?

There Is Something Wrong With This Message But I Don t Know What It Is

I think I know why I have no idea what the human who made this sign was thinking about because I am a nice Cat and I was not only well brought up but I am also really rather innocent.

About the Author

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Cat kind, his sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or at Amazon.com or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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My NASA Flight Certificate   Leave a comment

Space Shuttle Program

I don’t know if any of my wonderfully cuddly readers remember my post Nasa Face in Space Update which I published on my wonderful blog in March 4th this year? I am sure they do a lot of people remember blogs from the Cat who writes blogs.

If you remember, that’s great; if not just click the link above and catch up with the rest of us and then do feel free to read on because I have something wonderful to tell you and it will probably be more impressive if you are ‘up to speed’ as they say to the more challenged among us who have a tendency to fall behind.

So now that we are all ‘on the same page,’ which is course yet another euphemism used when talking to the ‘slower ones’ among us now that we can’t use words like ‘remedial,’ ‘monks,”thick’ and so on and so forth, I have something wonderful to tell you!

Yesterday I received my certificate from Nasa which certifies that I took a journey on the second to last Space Shuttle the STS-134 as it’s known among us Catsmonaut’s. Oddly enough the certificate reads that “the face of The Cat has flown in space aboard the Space Shuttle Endeavour on mission STS-134 from May 16 – June 1, 2011.”

Shuttle STS134 The Cat

Yes that is what I thought it’s an odd way of saying I was there with the guys but you know Americans they do have their own way of tangling with the English language forever wanting it to be more um… ‘American’ bless them.

Yesterday I signed Space Shuttle Program tribute wall because I just wanted to tell NASA how wonderful they are and if you would like to honour the amazing people who helped to design, build and fly the Space Shuttle, not to mention those who emptied the toilets, then you too can sign the wall and pay tribute to the Space Shuttle Program here Space Shuttle Program Tribute Wall.

I honestly recommend that you do this. NASA do an amazing job and I have always wanted to thank them, for not only letting me fly into space on a safe Space Shuttle, but also for the wonderful work they do, thanks NASA and I know that will mean a lot to all of you over there in the US.


About the Author – The Cat who writes blogs!

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

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