Archive for May 2011

The Attack Dog Is Bad Enough But The Chicken…   Leave a comment

As the sign says you really shouldn’t go through this door the attack dog is bad enough but I hear that the Chicken is the one to watch, it’ll have your arm off!

The attach dog Is Bad Enought But The Chicken

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Posted May 9, 2011 by The Cat in Uncategorized

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Thinking Of A Holiday In Tunisia – Think Again!   Leave a comment

At the moment there are some pretty good holiday and short break deals to all sorts of interesting destinations and they are very cheap, so cheap these holidays seem to be almost like gifts – but like any gift horse do look at the dental records first before you book anything.

The giveaway holiday destinations include Bahrain, Egypt, Morocco and other really rather volatile destinations where the locals have either that had or are having a little bit of a revolution, and have dusted off their Kalashnikov’s and taken to the streets to demand things – who knows what they are demanding and they don’t really know either but they seem to be enjoying themselves all the same.

Obviously considering any one of a number of Arab states where currently not all the shooting is into the air is a little dumb even if the price is extremely good because the likelihood of not everyone in your holiday party returning home suntanned and fit is rather high and semi-automatic bullets tend to make laundry very expensive. But there are other reasons for not holidaying in these dreadful places even if the people weren’t rioting and the reason is below.

Here is a picture I took while researching my latest blockbuster of a book – “My Travelogue.” The picture is of a top of the range toilet roadside in Tunisia, please note the various ‘classes’ of toilet from “Normal” to “Confoo” and onto the three star “Deluxe.” Of course all of these conveniences are believed by the Tunisian proprietor to be “Toilettes Confortable” which sounds like a sort of soft aftershave on paper at least!

Top of the Pile in Tunisia

Imagine the brain of the architect that ‘comes up’ (you couldn’t call it designing could you) with this block of conveniences! The two on the lefthand end are, I presume, for the poor and the cheapest is probably the one without a door. It is also possible that the doorless toilet is for poor people who are small – the Disney style height gauge nailed across the entrance is the clue there!

What is really worrying about this picture is what the Tunisians consider to be “Deluxe” the blue door on the right offers an entrance to the best toilet in the area and that says it all!

Just think, this is the only toilet for several hundred miles in any direction! And it’s a chilling thought isn’t it and the chill deepens when you consider the state of the places behind the doors!

I am not even going to describe what was there because I am a nice Cat and statements like “shit covered walls” are just not my style and neither is “dirty Arab bastards” for that matter.

Finally I leave you to guess exactly what the rolls of ‘stuff’ are that lie to the right of the cosy broken toilet block or to consider just how the area, for half a mile around, smells because of course there aren’t any sewers in the area.

The best and safest thing you can do to save money this year and help the country’s economy into the bargain is to holiday at home and then you won’t get shot at or poisoned by cheap Arab holidays or indeed catch dysentery from toilets that were obviously inspired by Indian architects and sewerage engineers.

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Goop De Gobble De   Leave a comment

Sometimes signs speak for themselves and then other times it’s like they are written in a foreign language just try to read the attack on the English language provided by a translator from china who was actually paid for this abomination.

I like to call this sort of nonsense “goop de gobble de” because although it is ‘gobble de goop’ thats’s how it would be translated by this Chinese idiot.

Still I don’t know why we bother trying to understand what the manufacturer was trying to say on the packaging really because if the product is made in China it won’t work for long because anything and everything that’s made there is just plain dreadful, what a good job they haven’t started making medicines yet!

I went to China doing research for my next book a Travelogue – oh it is awful and they eat Cats there did you know that!

Goop de Gobble de

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