Utter nonsense!   Leave a comment

When you visit the Cedar Point amusement park’s website you will be told some amazing ‘facts.’

Cedar Point is the “roller coaster capital of the world,” (the self-proclaimed, you will be assured that “One day is not enough.” I have a feeling I know why!

Utter nonsense

The “amazing Wind Seeker” ride experiences some problems with er… ‘wind!’

If you want to experience the Wind Seeker and other attractions do choose a balmy day when you go to Sandusky, Ohio to avoid disappointment.



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

The season opens on the glorious 4th   Leave a comment

The season opens on the glorious 4th

If you are really awful and like shooting things like almost all of the British royal family you probably can’t wait until October to bag a pair!



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

A very big meal!   2 comments

The entire family

The entire family in a stir fry? Wow! Er no thanks.



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

A good screw   4 comments

I travel a lot and discover a lot of things along the way. Travel broadens the mind they say, but I wonder if I am broad minded enough for this place?

The place for a good screw

It’s a great place for a good screw though!



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

Dear Shane   Leave a comment

There is a man who works in a Walmart far, far away called Shane. Happily I have collected some of his Shanerisms and occasionally release them upon an unsuspecting audience.

Shane has problems! That’s clear, Shane would be hell to work, with let alone manage, Shane is obviously a genius, but the sort of genius you don’t give sharp knives to!

The Management may have to change their approach to Shane because just leaving Postit notes to chastise him for his little antics just isn’t working!

Here is one of my favourite postit notes to dear Shane from The Management who must have more patience than even legendary people in the Bible.

Shanemism9

The world would be a sadder place without the Shane of this world, mind you it would also be less confusing and run more smoothly but then who would want that?



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

The English version of the English language   8 comments

English language for the English

Sadly you don’t need to look further than England to discover people beating the English language over the head with a baseball bat as they produce complete nonsense in print.

The author really aught to be ashamed of themselves, but as for the company Network Rail allowing an official communication to the public to be so drastically mangled, well that is unforgivable!

But then hang on we are talking about “Network Rail,” the company that fails to run a viable rail network throughout England, so we shouldn’t expect anything different. Should we?



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet.

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”

I would like to tell you all about something new and rather nice that you can get from the Apple iBooks store, no not ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book you have been able to get that for ages, no something else rather wonderful. You can get John Woodcock’s brilliantly illustrated book the first in the series called ‘The Trams of Prague’

This heavily illustrated books created especially for iPads, Pods and Phones called Tram No 6 is the Naughtiest of Trams and it looks amazing.

If you would like to get this exceptional book the easy way, just click on this link:
Trams of Prague – Tram No6 is the Naughtiest of Trams



Don’t forget dear cuddly readers one and all that my translator’s heavily illustrated book has just been made available at the iBookstore or iTunes – what was it with Steve Jobs and all of the ‘i’s’?

To get whizzed straight to the store whatever it’s called just click on the picture of the cover of that wonderful book below.

Trams of Prague ePub Cover 2 1 13 225x225 75

Poor delivery   2 comments

Devil may care deliveries Hong Kong

Currently we are suffering from the same sort of service I imagine Fook Kit Transportation Ltd of Hong Kong provide.

Our delivery nightmares are currently being provided by PPL, a subsidiary of DHL. The first time they struck with the full force of disorganisation was last year.

We were expecting a parcel and followed their tracking system which showed that they didn’t bother to deliver a parcel last November parcel on ‘the’ day, then they said it was out for delivery twice, then to cap it all they said they’d deliver it on a Saturday and didn’t turn up.

Eventually we had to go to the depot to collect our package of crockery. We waited over an hour while they tried or not to find the package.

When it was eventually produced they placed the sad tattered and bashed box on the counter. On the top it had a sticker saying something like. We threw this one about so much the contents might be damaged.

That proved to be the understatement of the year, the contents had been reduced to chippings and larger but still tiny sharp bits and pieces.

What a shame we needed it for a dinner party!

More recently we ordered another package, again PPL said it was out for delivery then the next day the tracking system announced that it had been left at the wrong depot, when contacted PPL had no idea where the expensive package was, all they could confirm was that it hadn’t been delivered. We told them to stuff it, send it back. We had decided go to a bricks and mortar shop that didn’t us them to deliver stuff!

All of which was a shame because the only mistake the online retailer had made was to make DHL and PPL their favoured carrier!



About the Author

The Cat Portrait2

The Cat is one of the most successful feline authors in the history of Catkind. His sharp elegant wit has produced the bestselling book ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and of course the much plagiarised gag of the same name which appears on all of the funniest joke sites on the internet. Happily soon ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ will be available in China, aren’t the Chinese lucky!

Copies of the Cat’s masterpiece of feline literature ‘Getting Out – Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary’ and his latest wonderful book ‘The Cat’s Travelogue’ can be purchased at a bookstore near you or from the internet at Amazon.com and here for the Travelogue The Cat’s Travelogue Paperback Edition or at what The Cat calls his www – wickedly wonderful website here www.thecatsdiary.com where you can not only learn more about me the genius Cat but also play my games they are all paw picked by me and have been described as “exactly what free on-line games should be, fun, free and fantastic.”