We’re A Bit Worried Here!

It’s Ginger! Well it would be wouldn’t it, he seems to have slipped away during the party, not it is ok not that sort of slipped away like when people talk about you after you have frozen in the path of an oncoming car for too long, not he popped out with some friends.

I have uploaded the most recent picture of Ginger I could find in a hurry it is from his failed or as he put it “yet to be refined” walking on air experiment.

Actually one or two of the slack mouths around here said that Ginger and his friends had gone off somewhere to enjoy an eight of Catnip but I don’t think that can be right he hates the stuff, well since the overdose that is!

I have every faith, including probably a lot of misplaced faith, that he will turn up somewhere, he always does, unless he is angry for some reason then he can sulk for ages but don’t worry his butt is worse then his bite, if you know what I mean and I think I do!

The trouble is that it is still snowing here and has been since before Christmas and it is cold enough to really annoy any brass monkey, so if Ginger is outside he could be completely Cap’n Scott by now couldn’t he? If you know what I mean!

It was something of an anniversary for the good Cap’n Scott and the lads recently, I believe it was one or two hundred years since they decided to see if you could get to the South Pole just wearing a string vest, knitted mittens and a smile.

Sadly some Norwegians had beaten him to the South Pole in a Volvo and left what they thought was a funny note “We beat you here” it said, obviously Norwegians are better at Polar exploring than telling jokes.

But the good news for Cap’n Scott and his chums was that when news of their deaths reached Britain they all instantly became heroes. It is the British way to make heroes out of failures and legends out of disasters, hence Gordon of Khartoum who faced millions of really annoyed ‘fuzziwuzzies’ as people, such as the good people of Khartoum, were called back in ‘Chinese Gordon’s’ time (that was his nickname, no I don’t know why either).

It is understood that General Gordon who instantly became “Gordon of Khartoum” died because of an unfortunate clerical misprint and a dreadful diplomatic error!

It is believed that the thousands of people who gathered outside General Gordon’s offices waving spears and wearing frowns were actually complaining about their gas bills and had simply gone to the wrong address – the one at the top of their gas bills.

Chinese Gordon, annoyed at the noise outside went out to meet the rabble with a loaded pistol which he emptied into the crowd.

Not long after General Gordon’s death the gas company quietly changed the address on the gas bills and the British government instructed all British residents living in foreign countries not to answer their doors with a loaded pistol.

Needless to say in true Dunkirk spirit General Gordon was brought home and buried with full honours, his actions were rewritten and a painting was produced to ‘assist’ the new ‘facts’ and another British legend was born.

Of course it isn’t only personal disasters that the British celebrate, bless them, by rewriting history and creating heroes, just read about British military history and you’ll learn all about The Charge of the Light Brigade, Dunkirk, Operation Market Garden and many more glorious military escapes, and of course the idiots involved and in charge of those farces were all promoted!

To tell the truth – and of course Cats can be relied on to do just that, which is at times a bit of a chink in our character armour as far as I am concerned – this good looking Cat has a bit of a soft spot for poor old Cap’n Scott because he was obviously a bit of a character as I am sure were his pals, if you want to read an extract from his ‘alternative’ diary there is a little snippet in my wonderful best selling book “Excerpts from a Cat’s Diary” which is available at all really great bookstores and of course Amazon.com.

There are quite a few snippets of diary of famous British failures who of course are national heroes in the UK, well I had run out of things to write and so I thought, now what would Livingstone say here and the rest is a best seller.

By the way Ginger has just turned up, he wasn’t outside at all, apparently he had another of his little ‘episodes,’ he said that he slipped into the airing cupboard and got entangled in a pair or probably two pairs of ladies (I presume) tights!

I wonder about Ginger sometimes, he has been wrapped up in nylons for three days and didn’t try to very hard to escape, that is odd isn’t it, it isn’t just me, is it?

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The Cat Thanks Everyone

This good looking Cat would like to thank everyone who came to the ‘Bring A Prawn Dance!’ last Saturday/Sunday and for some hardened party goers Monday too!

All in all we had a wonderful time in general and as you can see from the picture it got just a little wild.

Actually I do wish that I had used a picture on the invitations because some people and I won’t mention any names here brought err, how can I put this – oh yes – complete idiots, instead of Prawns.

Apparently a ‘Prawn’ in the human language can also mean a person who is not only not quite the ticket and has bought a bus ticket when they should have got one for a train, what can I say?

Well I suppose I could say that we had a right royal time with the idiots, but I won’t because a lot of people have accused me recently of being a bit of a royal basher and those who know me will agree that isn’t true, give me a choice between a Prawn and a royal and I will always eat the Prawn!

Actually I heard from a ‘reliable’ source that a well known royal had bought my best selling book and loved it, apparently it props the drawing room door open perfectly!

I wonder if they bought it here at Amazon.com that would have been nice.

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Poor Prince Harry!

I was so sorry to hear from advert filled BBCnews.co.uk website that yesterday or the day before the ‘lovely’ Prince Harry was in a potentially serious accident.

Happily, unlike his colleagues, ‘Henry Charles Albert David Windsor, born 15 September 1984′ as he would appear on any charge sheet, a serving officer in the British Army wasn’t being shot at at the time in Afghanistan where most of his colleagues are in cover waiting for the next idiot with a bomb, prince Harry was in Barbados.

It is such a shame that the British royal family have to fit in so much work around their hobbies and this terrible accident is proof that the lack of time they have to practice their past times is beginning to cause and possibly dangerous accidents.

Fortunately Prince Harry was uninjured in the fall when he landed it is believed on his head, doctors said that the royal family are blessed with remarkably thick skulls due to the constant and avid interbreeding of the pedigree over many years and that Prince Harry will be able to continue enjoying himself soon when the Grouse and Deer shooting season opens.

People close to the prince said that he will be taking more leave from the British Army so that he can recover from this ‘uninjury.’ The average soldier gets five and a bit weeks paid holiday per annum which means that for around 47 weeks of the year they can be shot at, bombed etc., in places such as Afghanistan.

On the other hand Prince Harry, who has taken full advantage of the fun side of what the Army has to offer has learned to ski, fly helicopters and scuba dive and hasn’t been on a full tour of active duty at all during his career in the Army, although it was rumoured that prince Harry was stationed in Afghanistan for 11 weeks.

These rumours are probably at best unreliable because the ‘prince’ would have been a high value target and as such would be a danger to all of the people who served in the army with him.

However the rumours of his ’selfless service’ to his country do make great PR and the royal PR machine used them to great effect when they they have to cover Harry’s little faux pas, such as his love of dressing up in Nazi army uniforms, calling Muslims “ragheads” and generally demonstrating what a coarse and uneducated mob, the royal family really are!

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Whales Tunes Are Deeper! Are They Auditioning For xFactor?

Hello all, I have just finished my toasted Tuna sandwich – I do wish that ‘they’ would hold the toast, but what can you do when you only get toasted Tuna sandwiches when they have slipped off a serving plate on the way to the kitchen table and taken a tumble down here, to the Cat shelf!

Anyway I have finished the Tuna filling from a really nice toasted Tuna sandwich, I of course, licked off all of the low cal spread, yes it is one of those weeks here – a slimming week poor humans, and I even tried to bite my way through the Tuna tasting toast but the darn stuff crunches everywhere doesn’t it and everywhere in this case was right up my nose.

After sneezing a lot I checked the news on the good old, though dreadfully bias, inaccurate and advert filled BBC News.co.uk and was delighted to see a nice story for a change!

Blue Whales who are some of us mammals biggest relatives have started to sing their “whale songs” in a deeper key, or that is what I read from someone who obviously has been listening at their doors.

In so much that the news was just about Blue Whales singing in a deeper tone the news wasn’t up to much obviously, but it was the next bit of the news which pricked (if you can say that on a blog?) up my interest.

Some scientists believe that the reason why our biggest of cousins and I am not talking about big Auntie Susan here, oh no, still the Blue Whales, the reason why they have dropped down to baritone (even the lady Blue Whales apparently) is that they could be happier that their numbers have increased and put them less at risk at becoming extinct, which let’s face it is a pretty good reason for a good old sing song.

They are, it would seem, happier as baritones even the lady Blue Whales bless them, I’ll say no more.

So next I was going to make a light of this monumental moment for Blue Whales and that is because I am happy for them and also because a little ‘gagette’ here and there does tend to brighten the day doesn’t it?

And I have to say I love to brighten anyone’s day, because they then tend to go off and buy my book which regular readers will tell you is excellent and that you can you can buy it here Amazon.com.

But sadly the object of my little joke a person who won the xFactor or is that the XFactor sometime ago is missing. She was it seemed a nice lady and won by singing from a classical repertoire which is also nice. Obviously I don’t watch TV if something like this lighter than air entertainment is on because it makes me want to hurk up one or two fur balls so I didn’t remember the dear lady’s name.

Obviously when you can’t remember something a good place to look is Bing.com it is more of a search engine than Google.com and even if it isn’t it has less annoying adverts and inaccuracies. So I typed in a few key words as you do and got nowhere what so ever.

It seems that a winner of the xFactor is like a butterfly, they appear, they entertain, (though of course few butterflies sing either pop or classical music), and then they disappear which is probably just as well from what I have heard of what is describes as their “talent” bless them.

But it is annoying for this comedic Cat because I was going to say that the Blue Whales’ drop in tone might be something to do with listening to this nice lady who won the xFactor and has obviously now vanished, but the gag doesn’t work so well when it is explained like that and anyway I may have gone on to say why the Blue Whales were singing in deeper voices and that might have got a little rude.

So all in all I suppose it is a good thing for all concerned that winners of the xFactor disappear for good. One thing I did notice in my bing.com style search is that the person to blame for the xFactor, a Simon someone, is leaving the show!

Let’s hope that he follows the ’stars’ that he has created and slips as quietly as possible into total obscurity and that soon after the show Titanic-like, joins him, because it all sounds so awful.

Still what do I care really? I don’t is the answer!

Actually a thought just occurred to me, and it is that I may have an answer as to why the Blue Whales are singing in a deeper tone and that is of course that they are in training for an appearance on the xFactor show, ah yes it all becomes clear now!

Lastly, I am so glad that I, a good looking Cat, wasn’t a ‘one hit wonder’ and just famous for a mere five minutes! And I would like to thank all of my fans for making that possible.

Now you have to work on your friends and make me more famous than John Lennon, who bless him, once said in a fit of complete stupidity that he was more famous than Jesus! Whoever he is? Let’s face it what have either of them done recently har ha.

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Lighting A Candle For The Cat

I have been on of those tidy ups that leaves you a little nostalgic for the past and so I just thought that I would share my favourite photograph from last year with you. It is a picture of me, of course.

“Such a good looking Cat!” I hear you say and then add and “so talented,” you are very kind and of course unerringly accurate.

The reason why I wanted to share this picture with you all my cuddly and mostly nice smelling readers – apart from you at the back, the old one smelling of Old Spice, have you tried to wash that rubbish off? Is that I thought I would do a round up of the year of 2009 finally and for good by talking about it a little for one last time before we all launch off into the future which of course is called 2010.

You know the sort of things that make you smile from another year swept under the carpet the personalities, the fun and the talented people you meet along the way who don’t annoy you too much because you experience them in small doses.

Then it struck me I will only be talking about myself and you all know me by now I am wonderful and then a little beyond wonderful and so here is my favourite picture of me, keep it safe won’t you, it is like me, remarkable valuable ‘franchisewise’ as someone said though it wasn’t any of the executives of HIT they are all saying where’s the money gone? I imagine.

So what was the best thing that happened to you this year? Was it discovering my blog or reading my book, or did I touch you in a crowd and heal you? I have been known to do that by accident of course, I normally charge for healing sessions.

For me, and let’s face it this is my blog and so it has to be about the superstar sensation of the year, the best thing that happened to me was to see my book rocket up the bestsellers list oh and of course meeting people.

I meet a lot of people in my line of work – superstar, and once the heavies get them to stop pawing the pussy – if you see what I mean – they chat. Obviously most of the people who meet me are a little in awe of me but I like that.

So people are ok, though still a bit scary on mass I think, and at a couple of book signings for my wonderful masterpiece ‘Getting Out Excerpts From A Cat’s Diary’ you can get a sneak peek here www.thecatsdiary.com or better still (for me) you can buy it here <a href="http://amazon.com" that they got a bit carried away which wasn't nice at all.

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Turning Unsolicited Mail In All Its Forms And Glory Into Profit

For some time all humans with a letterbox have been annoyed by mail slipping through their doors and falling with a slimy thud onto the doormat and haven’t really done much about it.

They moan these days of course about all of the trees that go into a Ford, GM, Coca Cola or worst of all any charity you could possibly imagine (and probably some you can’t) direct mail campaigns but they just throw the rubbish away or light a fire with it.

Humans know that the endless gush of this type of crap can’t be stopped and these underhanded, slippery direct marketing agencies have grown fat on their nasty direct mail campaigns, as have the companies and charities who use them.

Now, as we know the same happens in the cyber world and humans the developed world over have all been getting their undergarments in several twists because of ’spam.’

Spam is awful and distasteful and is quiet rightly vilified and although I have had a moan or two here on my blog about spam, this blog is not actually about ’spam’ as such! Well it isn’t about the rubbish that can lengthen parts of your body, make you much smaller in other areas or indeed inform you of the death of a very rich Nigerian or Chinese person, who you have never heard of, and then tell you it is the fervent wish of the correspondent that you and he or she should carve up the deceased assets in unequal shares in your favour – oh no it isn’t.

This good looking Cat wants to tell you about a way to really annoy any of the growing number of companies that send out direct emails, they arrive because you, like me, have been dumb enough to order something from them in the past and now for reasons that only they seem to know they think that they can send you some “Important Communication” or the other.

So here is what you do, reply to the email and make sure that their email is in the body of your reply, and thank them so much of informing them that you have won one of their fine products.

Doing this will ensure that the marketing department is confused and if you are lucky even a little panicked and do please make sure that you reply nicely – after all you have won whatever you fancy from their product range and do I implore you be as extravagant as you possibly can be.

Just now I had an email from the local Apple store, I didn’t ask for it, I didn’t want it and so if they have decided to write to me it must be my lucky day and if it is my lucky day then it follows (surely) that I have won something.

So I replied nicely and said that I would be delighted to accept a new Apple Powerbook which though not as pretty as my beautiful G4 is sort of ok really especially if it is free and I also asked if they could throw in a new Apple iPad that would be exceptional because then I could read my wonderful book “Getting Out Excerpts From A Cat’s Diary” on it, it is of course available in all ebook formats that matter and the ebooks can be bought here www.thecatsdiary.com.

Of course it goes without saying that I am looking forward to their reply and my winnings being delivered.

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Typos, Best Selling Authors and Mary Queen of Scots

As a world famous writer and good looking Cat, have you read my latest masterpiece – ‘Getting Out Excerpts From A Cat’s Diary’ you can get a sneak peek here www.thecatsdiary.com or better still (for me) you can buy it here Amazon.com by just copying and pasting the title of my award winning book in their search thingy.

All of which means that as you can probably imagine that as an author I have had a lot practice inserting odd and frankly erratic letters into words and I wondered if anyone else did that sort of thing as often as I seem to do!

To check this I decided to pay particular attention when reading the books of other authors, who are nearly as famous as me, and not drift off as I usually do! Guess what I found that lots of modern authors have loads of words in their books that have – how can we put this – er ‘challenging’ spellings.

I read with a smile in one of Jeremy Clarkson’s books yes that is the Jeremy Clarkson from Top Gear Top Gear.com and the Sunday Times The Times.co.uk no less, that someone was ‘whinning’ when he was talking about coming first and indeed there weren’t at all displeased when they won!

What is so dreadful about these typos is that his books are a bit of a rip off and this is because they consist of articles first published in the UK’s Sunday Times.

Then they are used as Fish and Chip wrappers before being collected up and bundled into a book or 12, which means that at least one sub-editor has missed the mistyping of Mr. Clarkson and if the publishers were interested in quality (yes, I managed to type that with a straight face) they would surely have had someone proof the copy before it was turned into a paperback book wouldn’t they? Which means that two proof readers missed the typos etc.

The use of typos to confuse readers is not a new trend though old Charlie Dickens was as adept as I am with changing the order of the letters in words – I prefer the think that us geniuses do that rather than suggest that we just don’t know how to spell things.

And this is to say nothing of Will Shakespeare yet! But then it was as you may know was a common practice in merry old England (or is that ‘merrie olde’ England) in Elizabethan times or is that tymes, to do that sort of thing a lot.

Based on this I have come to the conclusion that the Elizabethans were just very bad typists, well there can’t be any other reason for the dreadful spelling in the paragraph below.

The paragraph of gibberish is taken from an account of the trial and execution of Mary Queen of Scots written by Henry Grey, Earl of Kent, one of the principal Commissioners at the Queen’s trial and execution:-

‘… then laye shee downe verye quietlye stretchinge out her bodye, & layinge her necke over the blocke, cryed, In manus tuas domine, &c. One of the  executioners held downe her hande[s], the other did w[i]th 2 strokes of an axe cut of her head, w[hi]che (falling of her attire) appeared verye graye & near powled [bald] … the blooddye cloathes, the blocke, & what soever els bluddye was burned, in the chimneye fyer

Just for your convenience and sanity I have translated some of the weirder words that for some reason have fallen into disuse like “powled.” But still it is nonsense even I can type better than that, and I am a Cat!

Actually I have to apologise about the image for some reason I couldn’t find a photograph of the execution of Mary Queen of Scots which was a bit of a shame or indeed a photograph of her at all, which just goes to show how good the Elizabethans were when they set about erasing someone from history.

In addition I would like to make one observation on the painting of the execution of Mary Queen of Scots, she was a bit dim wasn’t she? After all even this Cat knows that you have to face the floor when kneeling over the execution block so that the man with the chopper has a fair chance!

Silly Queen!

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Goodbye Google Maps – Hello Bing Maps

Well my long suffering, oops I mean faithful, readers here is another moan about www.google.com and unbelievably some praise for www.bing.com well the maps department anyway.

At the weekend friends of mine told me to go and have a look on www.rightmove.co.uk at a house that they were thinking of buying!

By the way www.rightmove.co.uk is a great little English website, it is small, only run by a couple of people trying to do a good job, where you can find property to buy and rent which if you are actually looking for property to buy or rent is, you have to admit, pretty handy isn’t it?

Sadly www.google.com that ever annoying and bulging behemoth is trying to send little companies like www.rightmove.co.uk out of business by offering free listings of properties so that they can get even more advertising revenue buy stealing it away from family style companies like www.rightmove.co.uk or at least that was what I was reading on www.bbc.com the other day.

Well I have deviated from my point but that means I have a lot to say and am not a ‘deviant’ honestly.

So my friends said have a look at a house called “Knapp Farmhouse” which they said was in the odd and I think rather distinctive sounding village of “Puncknowle” in the delightfully charming English county of Dorset.

Being inquisitive (it is such a nicer word than ‘nosey’ isn’t it?) I decided to not only have a look at the pretty pictures of the property that my friends were thinking of buying and closely study the property particulars, I decided to find out exactly where the oddly and distinctively named village of “Puncknowle” was and how close it might be to the sea and the lovely fresh fish especially Prawns that people pull out of that bit of the English Channel, just in case I get invited to stay and on the off chance get offered fish.

Now we all know because we have been told by www.google.com that their map search thingy is second to none and with street view it is even better because you can get to see into peoples houses – sounded good to me and so I copied and pasted the address of the house my friends were thinking of buying into Google maps, and here I have to say that www.rightmove.co.uk are sticklers for accuracy because they give to entire address of the property that they are marketing even down to the post code (or zip code as my lovely American readers would know it better).

Then I waited for the magic to happen!

Imagine my surprise when this good looking Cat got not only a picture of the house my friends are thinking of buying but also an advert which said that the property was a sort of guest house that we only have in the UK I believe and call a “bed and breakfast,” these places are sort of like motels but with limited parking, but are fun to visit because the people who run them are usually mad and do odd things like pre-Basil Fawlty’s and on a smaller scale.

Knapp Farmhouse according to this advert (and the brochure that popped up when I clicked on a link) was indeed a bed and breakfast and strangely enough it was a completely different building to the one on www.rightmove.co.uk.

I was astonished that my friends were obviously considering ‘trade,’ were they that far down on their luck poor things? And my shock and horror grew as I noticed that the address of the property on Google maps was completely different to the address I had been given by them and also the nice website www.rightmove.co.uk.

My suspicions began to grow, were my friends trying to tell me something? Because with the help of Google maps had I discovered that they were about to move and didn’t want to give me the address of their new home and were thinking of disappearing forever – bastards!

Happily I am not the sort of clever feline that jumps too far to any conclusion and so I first checked to see if maybe some clumsy stroke of a furry paw had pasted in the wrong address – but no it wasn’t that.

Then I checked to see if the address my friends had given me was the same as the one on www.rightmove.co.uk – no that wasn’t the reason for having a different address and indeed picture on Google maps.

I called my friends and checked the address with them “yes” they said “that’s the right address, what did I think of the farmhouse and also the guest accommodation?” (A converted barn big enough for about twenty Cats).

“Very nice I said!” And put the phone down in confusion, it was obvious that they weren’t trying to get rid of me as a friend, they had asked me about the guest accommodation hadn’t they?”

So that meant that there had to be some other reason for the glaring discrepancy between the pictures of the house on www.rightmove.co.uk and bed and breakfast brochure on Google maps! They were so different and so it led me to think that they must be two different properties, but the smarties at www.google.com couldn’t be wrong could they? They are bright, they are clever, they are at long last moaning to China about their really dreadful freedom of speech issues, they are the next best thing to god aren’t they?

They have most of the same letters in there name as ‘him’ after all and they seem to control and manage everything and if they don’t like you or what you say they aren’t above a bit of censorship of their own are they?

So what to do, this little problem was gnawing at me, was there a way of checking whether www.rightmove.co.uk had made a mistake – yes there was they have an aerial picture of the property which probably most people would look at first and so now I checked that and it was different too www.google.com, then I thought maybe I should see what another aerial picture would look like and so I went to www.bing.com.

www.bing.com have a map and an aerial picture thingy, the map is actually much better than www.google.com and has a lot of map type information and not a lot of ads and guess what you can make the map full size so that you can see more of the map unlike Google maps which has more space for ads that are on the left hand side of the screen and can’t be made smaller to show more, well any of the map.

The aerial picture is not as good on www.bing.com but who cares about that? When I searched www.bing.com with the same address (glad that I had copied it and could paste it in so many times www.bing.com found the right property which agreed with the address that my friends had given me and also the pictures on www.rightmove.co.uk, bit of course not with Google maps.

So I think that unbelievably, because I am not a great fan of Microsoft at all, www.bing.com has won a little more of my heart, it isn’t as inaccurate as www.google.com, it is less committed to plastering ads all over your screen when you are snooping on your friends new home in the map section and you can even ’see’ what you are looking for full screen after you have found it and not a collection of adverts unlike Google maps and soon it will be the search engine of choice on the iphone.

Now of course the reason Apple Computers are changing their search engine on the iphone according to the www.bbc.com is that Apple Computers are annoyed that the iphone has some competition in the shape of the Google Android (‘phone’ as it has been described) – some competition har ha – and they are annoyed that they might only sell one billion and one iphones instead of one billion and ten iphones next year or something petulant like that.

So I have decided that for the time being that like Apple Computers I too like www.bing.com and I seriously suggest that you have a gawp at it too!

Currently one of their screen pictures is of a Cat as well, a rather fine Cat as well let’s hope that the rather fine Mountain Lion is pouncing on the idiot who works at Google maps and was responsible for England and in particular Dorset, let’s face it Google maps should get rid of that idiot as fast as possible it is giving them a bad name.

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Just How Cruel Are Humans?

I saw a headline today on a news website which read “Early mammals floated to Madagascar!” I ask you how cruel is that? Why would anyone want to float early mammals or indeed any mammals to Madagascar it is a long way isn’t it?

“Ok!” I thought to myself, “so Madagascar is a nice place but don’t they have plenty of mammals of their own?” And not only that isn’t it a little cruel to float any mammal anywhere, with or without their consent!

And there is so much more that is wrong about this headline, not only is there the consent issue, floating over to Madagascar from Africa means that the poor little animals have such a long way to float, are little mammals that bouyant?

And not only that what if they drifted just a little off course, where would they end up? The Southern Ocean is the answer and that is a terrible place for several reasons, the seas are so rough and cold there but worst of all there isn’t any land for thousands of miles in any direction and the only people fool enough to cross the Southern Ocean are lone yachtsmen or yachtswomen and can you imagine what it would like to be stranded with one of them? It would be simply awful!

First they probably haven’t had an intelligent conversation with anyone since they left England twenty thousand miles ago, oh yes of course they would have visited Australia but in my experience you can’t get an intelligent conversation there so they would just talk constantly!

Then worst of all the lone yachtsman or yachtswoman would be very, very annoyed and that is because they are supposed to do their intrepid stuff alone, the clue of course is in the title “lone yachts etc,” so they probably would make any floating mammal who hopped on board very unwelcome indeed.

Which all goes to show that floating early mammals to Madagascar is a thoroughly bad idea, just because the poor devils are early to rise in the morning well that is what this good looking Cat thinks.

On a different subject have you been to my website recently the techie bods there have been working like little slaves bless them and have found a way to put this blog on my site, so if you want a double treat go to my site the cat’s diary one here – www.thecatsdiary.com I hope you enjoy it as much as I always do!

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I Have Been Very Busy!

Hello all of my sad and faithful readers. I am sorry that you might feel a little neglected at the moment, but I have been doing so many things that I have even had to start multi tasking my multi tasking and then there is the snow ho hum.

But please don’t worry I of course I haven’t forgotten about you lovely cuddly readers, Cats are like Elephants (as the picture of good old Ginger in his Elephant suit demonstrates) we don’t forget.

Well to be honest we aren’t that much like Elephants on the outside though, our noses are small thank goodness, and our ears only stick out a bit, and then their is the size… but I think you know what I mean.

I am sorry that the picture of Ginger is a bit out of focus and frankly not up to the usual standard that, I know, you expect from my wonderful blog but this good looking Cat was laughing too much to keep his paws still when he took it, Ginger is such a comedian. I am only glad that I managed to straighten up once to snap the snap if you see what I mean, I was doubled with laughter the whole time.

Ginger kept shaking the tree and whining “I’m stuck, please help, I’m going to fall,” which worried the hell out of the lunchtime shoppers below I can tell you!

Sadly Ginger is in a cast at the moment and I don’t mean in yet ‘another’ revival of Lord Lloyd Webbers musical “Cats” which borrowed all of its creative genius from his usual sources! Oh no, Ginger, being the clown that he is decided it would be a great idea to do a paw stand shortly after the picture above was taken and… well what can I say it wasn’t a particularly great idea at all!

But you have to hand it to Ginger, the Elephant suit was a masterpiece! It is the opinion of all Cats that we start wearing ’suits,’ because for too long female humans have been wearing Cat suits and now it’s our turn.

One small problem with the Elephant suit we all agreed upon was the sheer weight of it, we could hardly move with all of that padding strapped on, I felt like at least two Mrs. Doubtfires I have to say.

But one thing we did agree on is that we will be wearing other fancy dress costumes so the next time you seen your favourite movie star on TV you might take a closer look to check that it isn’t a Cat in more than a Hat!

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